Dear Brennak  - you are the first person I've engaged with on this forum   - I too am recently diagnosed with bowel cancer (3 weeks ago!) and I just wanted to say that your reaction is completely normal. Like you I couldn't stop crying and fearing the worst  - Igot signed off from work and couldn't eat or sleep for the first few days - how I've kept it from my son I don't know. You don't need to tell too many people at this stage - wait until you have the bigger picture so you have answers. I'm glad you have confided in somebody and if there's anyone else you feel comfortable sharing this with then do as they will be a great support. I have now had all my scans and will finally meet my consultant on Monday to find out what lays ahead. What I really wanted to say was that after 2 weeks of tears, moping and scaring myself on Doctor Google  I have finally started getting my head around it  - I have returned to work and I don't have to leave the room every time a cancer advert comes on the TV. Yes of course I'm still terrified but trying to retain some normality has helped enormously - and I know that once I have the facts and a treatment plan I will gain a bit more control and no longer feel I'm in freefall. I will also be ready to tell others including my son. I hope this has helped and I'm confident that you will also start getting your head around it . You've got this!

Dear Brennak,

The waiting is the worst and it’s good that you have spoken to your friend. I’m also on my breast cancer journey and didn’t tell my Daughters until I had all the information I needed to make that decision. I’ve always maintained that knowledge is power but Google just made me feel worse so eventually stopped looking online for answers. I live in Scotland and have been assigned a Breast Care Nurse I’m assuming this will be the same for you wherever you live, these amazing Nurses have a wealth of information and are there if you need them. I’m now 3 weeks post lumpectomy surgery with lymph node removal and I’m getting ready for the next stage of my treatment which starts next month.  As the lady in the above comment says you will feel more in control once you have your own treatment pathway in place.  You’ve got this !!