Thank you for your response.   It is so hard isn't it. 3 am seems to be the start of the dark hours for me.  Really trying to concentrate on the next step and not to think about what comes after. 

I am Catholic but not been active for years.  I do pray or talk to God or a saint occasionally though.  Don't think the belief ever leaves you. X

I'm pretty good at eating healthy I agree gut health so important.  Thought I was fit too until this happened.

How are you feeling? X

I’m absolutely fine, thank you. 
At the beginning, I was being brave but periods, Id start thinking and end up in tears. One night, after a lot of weeping and my darling husband doing his best to lift my spirits to no avail, I asked God to please take my burden from me. I fell asleep and woke the next morning feeling completely free and content. I have never looked back.  It says clearly in the bible that if we ask , we will receive. 
We all know how to pray, any way you like. God will hear you and be delighted to hear your voice,  Don’t be afraid to pray but please pray to God and your heart will be lighter. 
Now, I want to to concentrate on the positive. They’ve found cancer in the nodes and are quickly removing it. That’s wonderful news. Please don’t be scared, these doctors are brilliant and the nurses are superb. Science today is advancing so quickly and the machinery being used is amazing.  They’ll sort you out and you’ll be back to normal before you know it. 
I shall pray for a speedy recovery. 
All the very best,

Rosemary. Xx