Hi Ross,

A very warm welcome to our forum. I am sorry to hear about your struggle over the past 2 years. Cancer certainly stimulates our emotions and we are always here for you. Do you feel you can tell us a little about your journey so far?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Ross,

It's no wonder you're feeling low, when you've had all of this going on, in only two years. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis is a frightening experience too and causes all sorts of emotional changes. I am so sorry to hear that your ex has been playing with your emotions too. I can also empathise with you, with your recurrence of cancer when you stopped chemo, as I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer, within less than a year. That was 14 years ago and, although I am left with some legacies of treatment, I still lead a busy and fulfilling life.

I am glad to hear that you and your brother are trying to build bridges now and that he went down to  Basingstoke with you. That was certainly quite a journey from Hamilton. Have you heard of the Haven in Blantyre or Maggie's? Both of these centres offer free counselling, alternative therapies (which aid relaxation), financial advice or you can just pop in at any time for a cuppa and a chat with other cancer warriors. I lived in this area, until recently and I used both of these centres and I found that they helped me considerably.

It is not unusual to feel depressed, when undergoing cancer treatment and to find sleeping and eating patterns can be radically altered. Mention these problems when you see your local doctor, or see your GP before this if necessary. Many of us find that we have to resort to a mild anti-depressant, to help us through this time and your doctors could prescribe these.

Finally, we are always here to talk to and we have, or have had, first hand experience of what you're going though emotionally. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

I've been in contact with the doctors for over 9 possibly 10 years now about being put on antidepressants and anxiety tablets I've switched tablets twice now, doctor knows about my mental health also but I think it's time for a checkup for when I can leave the house and go to places. right now is not the best time but I know this time will pass "it can't rain all the time" so I know there's light somewhere, I've been in contact with the team down south and a certain individual in the Maggie's centre in North Lanarkshire just needing help to process everything and right now I feel like apart from my kids being in and out my life here and there I feel like I have no purpose anymore again, I'm sorry your going through this also it is scary stuff, the uncertainty is the worst and overthinking doesn't help, making problems up that sent there also don't know why I do this to myself but at the same time I'm thinking logically about my situation and trying to expect it and keep moving forward. it's just hard and now I feel like am on my own.

Hi Ross,

It sounds as if you need another check-up and possibly a change of anti-depressants again. We all have good days and bad. You are still recovering from your surgery and are bound to feel low, until your health starts to pick up again. You are right that there is still light at the end of the tunnel, but it can be hard to see this, when you are feeling so low.

I agree that it is scary stuff, going through so much. We all have a purpose in life - your kids may very well be yours. I agree that the uncertainty of what lies ahead, is the worst thing to deal with. Our over-active imaginations don't help with this, as we nearly always tend to look at the worst case scenarios. I am glad to hear that you have already been in contact with someone from Maggie's about this. It helps to talk, so do please keep in contact with them.

It is hard to be positive all of the time, but you will gradually begin to feel more positive and be able to look forward to "a new beginning". I don't think that we ever revert to what we were before our cancer diagnosis, but we can move on. Life is to short to let the "what ifs" take over. Each day from here on in, is a bonus and we have to make the most of it. You will find that it helps to surround yourself with positive people and to try and push your own positivity to the fore.

You are not on your own, now that you have found this forum. There is always someone here who understands or has had experience of your situation. If you enter bowel cancer into the search forum box, at the top of this page, you will find others who have had a similar experience to yourself and you may find it helpful to talk to some of these people.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on and remember, that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Ross, I originally hail from not too far away in Scotland. I don't think there's enough specialists in Scotland, my mum had endometrial cancer removed and there's been no follow ups as there are too few gynaecologists up there. It's horrible you have to travel like that. It alone must be depleting nevermind everything else. Life has great timing at times. Half the adults in our family got seriously ill all at once a couple of years ago. I think life just likes to test us sometimes.

It's my partner who has cancer and it just feels like getting through the days sometimes and I'm not the one suffering. I think you're being really strong just getting through the days when you've had such medical trauma. I hope you get more support soon.