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Testicular Cancer relapse

IanM-S
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Hi All,

so I had a radical right orchidectomy 2 years ago, December last year markers CT band MRI showed that it was back and going through my lymph nodes in abdomen and chest.

i had BEP for the first 3 months of this year and so far I’ve been marked as remission.

i am terrified every 3 months when CT and bloods are done that it’s back.  If it is back and has spread to my organs is this the end for me ? 

im terrified of death and dying so having cancer has been harder than I had ever thought. Any practical ideas form those living with or lived with this on how to keep moving forwards and trying not to think about death at 43 ( appreciate that at 43 I should be more used to my own mortality, still terrified though)

thanks 

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    Hello IanM-S, 

    Poor you, it seems to have been a rather traumatic experience to have this testicular cancer relapse and it's normal to be very anxious that it will happen again even if you are currently in remission. I can imagine you are dreading the check ups every three months but it's good that you are being so closely monitored so that they can identify quickly if something has changed. You might be interested in reading the information on our website on what happens if your testicular cancer comes back and it mentions the feelings you describe of shock and fear that come with being told that the cancer is back. Have a read too of our page on coping with testicular cancer which you may find has useful tips for you. 

    You've been through a bit of a traumatic experience and it's totally normal to be fearing the worst but even though you suffered a relapse, you are now in remission which is wonderful news so try if you can to focus on that even if it is easier said than done and to chase any negative thoughts about death and dying and to have faith in your medical team who will be looking after you very well I am sure. If you feel these dark thoughts and this fear of death is all consuming, it might be a good idea to talk to your GP about it as I am sure they will be able to help you feel a bit better and they will point you in the right direction in terms of support that might be available to you during this anxious time. 

    I hope that you will get to hear the insights of members of our forum who have dealt with a cancer relapse before and I am sure that they will be able to tell you more about the psychological impact it had on them. Sharing thoughts and talking to others in a similar situation can help you feel a little less alone with all this and I hope someone will be along shortly to share their story with you. 

    We also have a lovely team of cancer nurses who are ready to take your call if you ring this free helpline 0808 800 4040 (Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm) - if there is anything you are worried about or wish to discuss, they will be very happy to offer support and guidance. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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