Hi all. I can relate to you all with the feelings of anxiety, I found a lump on 15th August and was sent by my GP for an urgent appointment to the breast care centre within days where I had an ultrasound, mammogram and biopsies and was told on that day that I either had something called fibrocystic disease or breast cancer. I've since been told that it is cancer and I have an appointment with a consultant on Wednesday but it seems like my entire life has come crashing to a halt. Surreal describes it perfectly, I haven't left the house, I rarely get dressed, I keep my curtains closed during the day, I ignore the doorbell and most phone calls, my normally spotless home has turned into a pig sty, I just can't seem to get out of this slump and I've completely withdrawn from the world, the thought of having to go out causes quite severe panic attacks. My daughter bought me a ring that has little silver circles wrapped around the front that you can spin and that's the only thing that I've found that helps to calm my breathing and stop my heart jumping out of my chest, it's quite soothing, very simple but effective. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say where it came from but it rhymes with glamazon and it was extremely cheap. I've had so many lumps over the years, all of them fibroadenomas, harmless tumours, until now and I really thought it was just going to be another one of those and I've been in a state of shock ever since I found out it isn't. In the past I've had to wait a while for appointments but this seemed different from the moment my GP felt the lump, everything was rushed but I still didn't want to believe it could be cancer. I wish all of you the very best of luck with everything and would really like to hear how you're all getting on, hopefully healthy and well. My thoughts are with you all.

Hi

So much to deal with. I am sending strength and hope you find tommorow is reassuring although can only imagine this will also feel extremely daunting. A route to recovery xxxx Stay strong and do whatever helps at this time. 

Welcome Soundy, and yes the plan to beat those nasty little cells becomes paramount in your mind. Maybe the hiding away beforehand is our body's way of preparing us for the road ahead.

I was a single mum, now they are grown, my boys are my greatest support. I hope you have someone to take care of you x

Exactly. It feels like a roller coaster of days where everything feels too much and then days where I feel motivated to stay fit and healthy and push forward. I listen to headspace app and there’s a bit on cancer as the creator had cancer too. He talks about feeling out of control and on those days trying to control what you can. Tidy my house, go to the gym, have fun with the kids. Definitely helps. I hope my kids are like yours when they’re older. Your sons sound amazing. I have lots of friends and parents to support. We can get through this. Just have to keep rolling with the rollercoaster. What is your next step? xx

Glad you have your parents and other support, it helps so much.

I'm waiting for results of second biopsy so they can decide extent of surgery. So I'm back to resting up and  counting the days till the decision is made x

Aw the wait is excruciating. Did they say what kind it was or do an mri? I think they did an mri on mine as lobular is hard to see on scans. I asked them to do the bone test as I was worried I have back ache. But then I’ve had back ache since having children and constantly picking them up. I feel like every ache or twinge could be another tumour now. I’m worried this is all I will think about moving forward. x

Hi Soundy. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis but I understand your eagerness to get on with everything, I feel the same way. Have you been assigned a nurse key worker? If not that will probably happen at your next appointment. I have a lovely lady that I can contact if I have any questions and she's been great. She asked if there was any specific dates that I couldn't do and I'm just waiting to hear from the surgeon now and then I'll get my preoperative assessment date and my surgery date within the next 9 days. I have grown up children so I can go in at any time but I'm sure they'll give you much more warning though as our situations are very different but I would start preparing just in case. I've packed my bag already and I keep my phone in my hand just in case I get a call. Hopefully things will move as fast for you and I wish you all the best with everything. I totally agree with you about how supportive everyone is, it's a lovely group that we have here. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing x

Hey. Thanks for your reply. Yea I was given a key worker nurse when they told me. She’s amazing and very helpful. I might try call her today to see if there are any appointments in for me to discuss the next steps. Feel so anxious today I can’t move. Some days are great. Others I just can’t move. It’s really helpful having people here to talk to going through the same thing. I hope your surgery is soon and swift xx

Hello Soundy & yes a huge lovely welcome to our little chat which is helping me lots. Thank you! 

I will keep you all posted next week and am very grateful for everyone’s support. You are all absolute rock stars dealing with all that is being thrown at you. X 

I've found some days are better than others as far as motivation is concerned. If you're having a sad, unmotivated day just go with it, listen to your body and mind.

As women we try to push ourselves but this is not the time, sit back, take time out and remind yourself it is all part of conserving your strength. Do not feel guilty or lazy!

Tomorrow is a new day, try and go for a short walk if you can, I've found it helps lift your mood. Or stay in bed and eat chocolate all day! Whatever works to get you through x

Thank you, so supportive, and whilst you have so much going on for you. I went for a walk. Seem to be cooking lots (not like me) ha ha. Keeping myself occupied until Wednesday.

I hope you are also doing what is best for you at this time x Walks/chocolate (I have eaten a whole packet of Lindt) this week :-/ They are gone now so that is good. 

Baths are my current fav haven. Take care all x 

Hey guys. I had my second set of results. My bones are clear but tumour is larger in the breast and 1 lymph node swollen needs checking. Plus a small lump in other breast. I expected it to be larger as lobular hard to see on scans. It’s 7cm not 2cm. So they doing CT scan and biopsies next. The appointment was scary and emotional. Does anyone find these get any easier? I’m always shaking and feel faint when I go in. How’s everyone else doing with their journey? xx

Hey guys. I had my second set of results. My bones are clear but tumour is larger in the breast and 1 lymph node swollen needs checking. Plus a small lump in other breast. I expected it to be larger as lobular hard to see on scans. It’s 7cm not 2cm. So they doing CT scan and biopsies next. The appointment was scary and emotional. Does anyone find these get any easier? I’m always shaking and feel faint when I go in. How’s everyone else doing with their journey? xx

Try and focus on the positives here, your bones are clear which is a huge relief.

Biopsies and scans are so efficient, biopsy can be uncomfortable, get as much of the local anaesthetic as possible, my second one was no more uncomfortable than a mammogram, probably less so. The nurses are so kind and so good. 

If my own 2nd biopsy result on Thursday 3rd shows 10cm suspect area is all cancer then apparently a mastectomy will be on the cards, but they offer full reconstructive surgery and a tummy tuck (if that is where the fat for breast reconstruction is taken from).  Silver linings.  and we're all here for each other x 

Oooo I didn’t know the fat from the tummy was an option. I have a lot of loose fat from 3 pregnancies still. But losing weight rapidly on a ketone diet. Feel I need to do something while waiting for treatment and concentrating on diet and exercise really helped. 
Have you guys looked into any other ways to help outside of conventional treatments on nhs? 
Hoping for good results for you Thursday. Is yours lobular too? so glad I have you all to talk to. Friends are a massive help but just feel I’m worrying them talking about it where as I feel you all understand the rollercoaster. xx