Hello Donnym,

                         l can well understand that you find yourself currently in a position of great anxiety and tremendous uncertainty and coming to terms with coping with that can at the moment seem like a hopeless impossibility.

Hopefully some of the uncertainty can be removed during your interview with your consultant, but many of us have found that it can answer the questions we attended with, but can raise yet more we forgot to ask as the enormity of processing your future treatment takes all of your thinking in that moment. A good idea is to prepare a list of questions in a quiet moment before attending and just remember to hand to the consultant, chances are you will be so focused on processing what you have been told you would forget to read them out. Its a good idea to attend with another person who could help you with this.

The anxiety over conversing about your issues does ease as you hold more conversations with the medical staff involved in your treatment as you realise that as professionals they do not see gross, but problems they need to find the very best outcomes for,

As you have realised we have all been there, and as a ten year survivor of stage4 bowel cancer with spread, the best advice l can offer is quickly accept where you are, know that you are being looked after by a skilled dedicated team, and realise that in all of this what you can bring to the table is your most calm self, allowing your body to be as stress free in order for it to focus its efforts on recovery.

MAGGIES is a great place to attend where you can share your load with others with no pressures placed upon you, if you have a centre local to you make the effort to attend, it was a lifesaver for me and many others.

Best wishes for the calmest you on your long journey back to good health,

 David

Hi David, thanks for your reply, unfortunately there isnt a MAGGIES near by. On Tuesday i pretty well know that i will have a short course of radio therapy, that in its self isnt worrying me as i know the side effects are minimal and it will give me the relief i am looking for. I've been assessed as not fit for surgury, im sure my cancer is a lot less serious than yours was so should be grateful. The pain ive been in for the last few weeks of continual irritation in my bowel which im told is perhapes due to bleeding and also the cancer effecting the nerves in my lower back passage, the cancer is just above the bowel sack, its irritating my back both at the end of my spin and about 6" up. I know im moaning and the end is on sight, as i said im just knackered and have little appitite and spend so long on the loo but that doesn't easy the pain. Im taking 30/500 co-codamol but thats not easing me either anymore. Think i just need to accept where i am for the next few weeks and be grateful that there is an end in sight. My grandpa had bowel cancer, 1984, had stoma but only lasted a couple of painful months, knowledge is so much more advanced now. Thanks for listening, no need to reply or at least not as long, its helped just writing this. Mark.