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Friend recently diagnosed with incurable cancer: what to say in a message of support

Loveladies
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I would like advice on what to say with my friend starting treatment this week and I'm sure she has had a barrage of messages she has said she wouldn't ask for help so how do I go about sending her a message and what to put in it pls

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    Hi Loveladies, 

    It's so nice of you to want to send your friend a message of support as she is about to start treatment this week. I am so sorry to hear she has been recently diagnosed with incurable cancer. It can be hard to know what to say to a loved one in this situation and I think you can just follow your heart and intuition on what to write and I am sure she will very much appreciate your kind gesture. We have a helpful page on our website on how to support someone with cancer and you will see there is a very nice little video in there on how to talk to someone with cancer put together by patients.

    I hope these tips will be useful to you but as nothing quite replaces hearing from the experiences of others who may have been in your friend's position before, I will now let our members come and say hello and share their personal top tips with you. 

    Best wishes and best of luck to your friend for the start of her treatment, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Lucie

    Thank you for this, it's really helpful.

    I am trying not to message everyday to give space but I also wondered what systemic chemo along with daily injections and steroids potentially could be like. Think she said 21 day cycle for 18 weeks stage 4 left breast then on Adrenal Gland and spine what is their percentage pls of life expectancy maybe if I know more from you it will help me in equipping myself with knowledge 

  • Offline in reply to Loveladies

    Hello again Loveladies, 

    I am glad it was helpful; you seem to be such a supportive friend. Unfortunately I don't have the medical expertise to answer your questions but our cancer nurses have a helpline you are welcome to ring on 0808 800 4040 - it is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm and they will be happy to answer questions you might have or point you in the right direction. 

    Lucie

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