Hello J2411

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. As you say, it's a shock to hear the words that you have cancer and it sounds like you were thrown striaght in at the deep end when your treatment started. It's understandable that you are experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions and what you've described about guilt and anger are perfectly normal responses. 

Have you spoken with anyone in your care team about how you're feeling? Sometimes it can help to access some support to offload in a safe space how you're feeling and explore what you've been through over the past few months. It may be that the care team at the hospital have access to a specific cancer support specialist they can refer you to. Or it may be that you have an organisation such as Maggie's in your locality. We have some informationon our website about cancer and mental health that you might find interesting to read through. Hopefully it wlil give you some reassurance that as hard as it is, what you've described feeling is a normal response to the stress that you've been living under. We also have some information about myeloma you can refer to if needed. 

We do also have a team of nurses here at Cancer Research that you can call to talk with if you think that may be helpful. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

I hope that things settle and improve for you J2411. Do keep in touch to ask questions, chat with others or offload if it helps. We're here to listen and will do what we can to support you. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator