Hi Everyone, I'm Tim and I'm 43.

I've come to this forum because I'm feeling so scared about the future.

I started having rectal bleeding before Xmas. The first time it happened I put it down to piles even though I didn't have any obvious signs of them. Then, over the course of the next 2 months it has happened 3 times more with significant blood. I went to the doctors who ordered the usual tests, my bloods were normal but my fit test was positive at 42. 

I have now been referred for colonoscopy next Wednesday. My bowels are terrible, and my stomach is constantly making loud noises. I have lost a lot of weight and feel sick most of the time.

I'm finding the whole thing very difficult and all I can imagine is that I have bowel cancer and it has spread so there will be no hope for me.

I'm feeling very down and I'm feeling guilty that I'm putting my wife through this who I love so dearly. 

I know there's nothing anyone can say or do but I thought it might help to get it down on words.

Love to all on here going through the same and I hope we all have a good outcome.