Hello there. I'm 58, and was diagnosed with papillary renal cell cancer grade 2 a few weeks ago. I've got surgery to remove a 3 cm tumour (endophytic in 80% of its size) on March 12th, and am also awaiting the result of a CT scan on my chest to see if it's moved anywhere else. It's been a shock and a whole new world has opened up, which is crazy considering I knew cancer can affect 50% of people. I had to tell friends and family twice because the first time I said I was having a growth removed and I'd be fine. They messaged me back that it sounds OK and hope it goes well. I mean, they didn't get it. I had to call a few up and say it was actually grade 2 cancer. That was my fault tho I guess, combined with people's denial of cancer happening. It took me about a week to cancel most of my races (I'm a runner and cyclist) as I myself was in denial. I'm still keeping fit tho.

My consultant has said it's 95% certain that I will be fine, and be 'cured' (his words), but I may need the whole kidney removed and there might be other complications, though he said it was a common procedure. I haven't read anything online that uses the words 95% and 'cured', so I'm trying to be more realistic. 

I was already having counselling / therapy for a few issues following the death of a friend last summer from cancer, and also my mum's deteriorating Alzheimer's condition (she also has cancer, but that's been going on and changing for decades). Cancer now seems to be everywhere. Anyway this counselling support has been invaluable in giving me some tools and making me feel like I can cope, though I might just be in denial. We will see. My wife and I are also in the middle of fertility treatment as well at the moment. Suffice to say with this paragraph there is a lot going on. I've also have the support of a running mental health group and they've been great.

One podcast said that it seems like cancer is a rucksack on your back which some days/times is heaving or lighter than others, and I think that's about right. 

My work has been amazing, basically giving me the space to contribute however I want for as long as I want, so that's been great.

Anyway I'm still not sure whether to be hopeful, realistic, upset, or push on through it. I think taking some time to sit with it seems to work for me, plus yoga and meditation.