Hi Mia, thank you for your message - it feels less lonely knowing that there are people like us going through it. I'm sending so much love, care and support to not only your mum but you too. It's a strange feeling, I feel like I've been parenting my parent and seeing them in such a vulnerable way with little I can do to ease their mind especially when we're in that limbo of what the outcome will be.

I understand that rollercoaster you speak of too and I'm so sorry to hear that they missed the diagnosis; I can imagine that the wait and wondering has also caused you to feel all over the place too. We have a very lovely specialist nurse who has been very kind and given me her time to just let me offload. Some days are harder than others, had a pretty bad one recently as I think the unknown for him has created that snappy overwhelming feeling where he can't think straight then when you're also not feeling too strong it stings. He gets out of breath easily as where the mass is, is pressing on a nerve which is also causing his voice to be hoarse plus he's lost weight which he connects to ' bad cancer.' I live 4 hours away too which can be tricky and I worry about him looking after himself. As you can imagine, he's still an active smoker and what he call his 'chemical crutch' for when things get tough is a cigarette so it feels like there is that addiction too. 

xxx

Hi I’m sorry about your dad I’m in a similar situation, my dad is 68 and he was also a heavy smoker for years. In jan 2021 he had lung cancer and they operated and he didn’t need anything else, fast forward to jan 2023 he has fluid in his right lung where they operated and most likely reoccurrence of lung cancer in the same place. They’re going to drain the fluid and biopsy at the same time next week but he’s not sleeping hasn’t slept properly in weeks. I’m scared and he’s scared. I know how you feel because he gets more and more anxious closer to the day. We can only hope for the best for everyone. Just want to let you know you are not alone x 

I meant Jan 2024*

Hi Leepeople

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's so hard, I think the feeling of being out of control and not being able to make it better is the hardest for me. 

My mum was diagnosed at the start of Feb 2024 having had a PET scan. She's in her early 70's and smoked for years giving up in favour of a vape about 10 years ago. She had a pre-assessment for a left upper lobe removal as they think it's isolated. The thing is we won't know until after the surgery when it can all be tested. She had several pulmonary embolisms summer last year and was lucky to recover, it is then they found a 6mm nodule, fast forward to now and it's 9mm with some suspicious looking areas around it. In a way we are very lucky the pulmonary embolisms happened otherwise we may never have found out about the cancer! 

We are waiting now for a surgery date so really feeling like we are in limbo. It's really hard. 

I lost my Dad to cancer 6 years ago - that was a 5 years battle and I'm terrified that the same will happen to my mum. As an only child I'm really feeling it.

The comforting thing is we are not alone x