Hi HettiP,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear about your father-in-law's diagnosis and understand just how devastated you must all feel. It is perfectly normal to experience anticipatory grief at this stage. How is your father-in-law at present and how is he coping with this news?

We took my father-in-law to see his GP 5 times, when he was complaining of severe back pain. On the first 4 occasions, he was told that he had arthritis and was given a rub to apply. On the fifth, he saw a different GP, who decided to send him to get this pain investigated. He was sent to the day hospital and 4 hours after his admission, we were informed that he had terminal cancer. We were told that he had about 2-3 weeks left, but in fact, he died on the fifth day after his diagnosis. 

Telling young children is never easy, but they can be very matter of fact, and may take it in their stride. There are cancer booklets available, which advise you on the best way to break the news. Is there an information centre at his hospital? These places usually have the leaflets you need and should be able to offer you advice. Try to keep communication channels open between all of the family and if possible, make whatever memories you can. Your mother-in-law will be feeling forlorn at this timer too and will possibly need additional support.

I am thinking of you all at this difficult time and I am always here for you. 

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx