My dad

In 2015 my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, he did amazing with operation and chemo. He had lower lobe on left removed.  Due to it being diagnosed at very early stage he was part of a clinical trial, and was monitored very closely.   In 2019 it came back!, he had a lower lobe removed on right side.  However he didn't have chemo due to covid. :(

In December 2023 he had to go for his regular scan ( always December for results in January)

He went on 10.1.24 and the consultant advised there is a "thickening" on right side which they wanted to look into. Dr said he didn't think it was cancer and told my dad not to worry.

He has had blood tests, lung function test, head scan and has a pet scan on 22.1.24.  He has already told us that if it is back he is not having chemo (if it is an option).  I am trying to stay strong to support him and my mum, and my motto has always been that no matter how hard it is for me, he is the one that has to go through all this.

Don't really know what I expect anyone to say really I just needed somewhere to go.  I have siblings but they aren't very supportive, my partner and my kids do there best, but after my husband lost his mum in January 2023 I don't like to burden him with my emotions and thoughts.

My kids are 23 and 12 and i don't feel it is fair to put on them.

On a more positive note mum and dad had a holiday to Babbacombe which they have left for this morning, i just hope it distracts them from normality.  My dad isn't sleeping great either. said his head is wrecked.

Sorry if this ramble doesn't make any sense, I just needed to get it out there.

  • Hi Amanda and welcome to Cancer Chat.

    I'm so sorry for the anxious wait you and your family now have to find out your dad's results.

    This must be so difficult for you all, especially after everything your dad has been through, but I'm glad you reached out to us as we have a very supportive community and I'm sure it won't be long until some of our members stop by to offer their support and share any experiences and advice they have if they have been in a similar situation.

    I hope writing everything down has helped, but if you would like to discuss any of this with one of our cancer nurses you can do so on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They are very easy to talk to and will do all they can to support you and answer any questions you may have at this time.

    I really hope your dad's PET scan goes well next week and that the results bring good news when the time comes.

    Best wishes to you all, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thank you Steph.

    I am hoping it is a good omen that my sisters name is Steph like you, silly I know but still fingers crossed.

    my dad is in a bad place mentally. Even though my mum and dad went away last week my dad just slept for 2 of the days.

    but that is how he has been previously when waiting for results.

    I think some times the physiological side is as bad or worse than the physical.

    He is hopIng to get an appt with consultant soon so hopefully in a few days we will have answers.

    but it’s going to be a long few days.

  • Hi Steph

    So dad has had his scan, and hospital have rang to say they want him to have a endoscopy with biopsy, does that mean they think it is back?

    i know you probably can't answer that, but just wondered if they would generally have asked for that if they didn't think it was back?

    My mum and dad have told us about the tests but have said they want to be on there own to digest this next lot of information.

    Any advice, ????

  • Hi AmandaD49,

    I can understand this must be concerning - as you say, we are unfortunately unable to advise on this; it will only be the doctor who can do this, after any necessary tests.

    As Steph suggested, you may wish to give our nurses a call, if you would like to talk things through with someone.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Today is the day, dad currently on way to hospital for results with my mum and sister.  Please send out positive thoughts for him, appt at 10am. 

  • Not quite sure how i feel about the diagnosis.  Stage 3 lung cancer. discussed treatment mixture of chemo and radiotherapy, curative treatment.  It hasn't spread anywhere else.  He has a large bit of infection to so on anti biotics, he has been feeling pretty rough for few days.  They said his lung capacity isn't strong enough to  withstand another operation.  3 times, 3 times, how much can 1 man go through.  I hate this disease with a vengeance, life is just to cruel.  I don't know what to say to him , to my kids , he is my dad, my hero, I can't lose him.

  • Hello Amanda

    I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. Whilst you're understandably upset it also sounds like there's some positive news in there in as much as the team is talking about curative treatment. 

    Hopefully the antibiotics will help clear this infection and he'll begin to feel a little better over the coming week and before any treatment commences. 

    In terms of what you say to your Dad and to your children, well I think it's ok to be honest with all of them. I'm inclined to think that your Dad will agree that this news is really rubbish and just not fair. But hopefully knowing that he has the love and support of your Mum, and you and his grandchildren will help him through whatever lies ahead. 

    If you'd like to talk with one of our nurses at any point you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any support they can. 

    Keep in touch Amanda.

    Sending you all my very best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Hi Jenn,

    Thank you for your response and kind words.

    I have been to see my dad and he seems very positive.  said he kind of knew it was back and thought it may be that they could not offer any further treatment so he wouldn't get to see his youngest granddaughter turn 1, he has 5 granddaughters and they adore him to.

    Hospital have just rang with an appt for Monday were they will go through the treatment plan.  His goal is to do something his mum didn't get to do, ring the bell.

    will keep you all posted on dads journey, and to you all facing this horrible disease I pray for you all as well as my dad. xx

  • Dad been to hospital today, he has to have a 3d scan so they know exactly the area for the radiotherapy.  They have decided against chemo, as dad did have issues with this previously.  They have said the treatment is still curative, but if they gave dad the chemo and he didn't react well then they wouldn't be able to go ahead with the chemo... didn't quite understand this bit when brother told me.  I am going to go and see mum and dad after work to see what they say further.

    The radio therapy will be 5 days a week for 4 weeks, that is gonna be tough for him and just hope he is strong enough to get through it.:( 

    Doctors have recommended dad gets as much exercise as possible to be as fit as possible once the infection he has has shifted.