Hello Pau

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband earlier last year. It's understandable that you may be experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions particularly as it sounds like things happened so quickly. 

Grief is a natural process but it can be devastating. There are often times when the feelings of loss may be closer to the surface and it's possible that having gone through your first Christmas without your husband, and as you approach the first anniversary of his illness and passing, you will feel things more keenly. 

I don't know if you have any bereavement support after your husband died but it may be worth exploring this option to help you over the coming months. You may find that a charity such as Cruse or Maggie's can offer you some help, or you might want to chat with your GP about other services that are available in your local area. 

You might also want to have a look at the Sue Ryder online bereavement community for some support as well. 

I hope that you have some friends and family around you Pau that can support you as well. Don't be afraid to share how you're feeling with those closest to you. I'm sure they will want to support you in any way they can. 

Keep posting here in the Cancer Chat community if it helps to have somewhere to write down how you're feeling. We'll do our best to support you at this difficult time. 

Sending you my best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator