My mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer : I need guidance and words of advice

Hello everyone. 

it’s been a very confusing start to the year. I’m mid 20’s and only child and my mums been diagnosed with breast cancer. After a biopsy going for results me my mum and dad all positive to be told it’s not good news.

i feel angry , confused , exhausted and I just don’t know what to do. I am still trying to understand and get my head around it. 

I do talk to my parents but knowing I have to be strong for my mum it’s left me in a daze and realise I need to also look after myself. My dads a very private man and holds himself.

It has been a complete shock and the months ahead are going to be a hard and long journey.

can anyone give me some advice if I can talk to someone? Or just a friend I can talk to ? 

thank you 

  • Hello M1998 and a warm welcome to our forum, 

    Poor you what a difficult start of the year it has been. I am so sorry to hear your mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It's completely understandable you are feeling so helpless with all the emotions you describe, anger, confusion, exhaustion. Don't be too harsh with yourself though, give yourself the time you need to process all this. You may just need a bit of time and it's normal to feel a bit in a daze at the moment. We have useful information on our website for Family, Friends and Caregivers where you will find tips on how to support someone with cancer but as you rightly pointed out, you and everyone who is caring for your mum will also need to look after themselves which isn't always easy to do. Our website also has guidance on taking care of yourself which will tell you more about how to deal with your feelings and make sure you look after yourself for both your physical and emotional wellbeing. 

    It sounds like it is not always easy for you to communicate with your dad and I hope that you manage to talk to one another and that you can at least know that you are there for one another during this difficult time. The months ahead won't be easy for anyone but bear in mind the news is still sinking in and perhaps once you find out more about your mum's cancer, about the treatment plan, things will be a little clearer for you and with this clarity you will also be able to feel less in a state of confusion and better able to cope and support your parents. 

    It's not an easy journey but I wanted you to know you are not alone and I hope that you will hear from other members of our community who have been in a similar place before. To make it easier for your thread to be spotted by others in a similar situation, I have added a few contextual words to the title of your thread. If you ever needed to talk to someone, you can  also ring our nurse helpline on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    We're thinking of you during this difficult time and I hope that you will feel better soon. Do talk to friends if there is anyone around you you feel you can confide in, sometimes it isn't always easy which is why this forum can be helpful as everyone here will understand what you are going through. If it all gets a bit much for you, you can also get in touch with your GP and they may tell you more about counselling options which may be beneficial to you or any other type of support group which might be available in your area.

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • I have sent you a friend request if you’d like to message privately, I’m in a very similar position to yourself.