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Struggling with mums diagnosis

Dora9310x
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Hi all, I’m unsure if this is the right place to post, my mums cancer nurse told me about this forum. 
I am very much so still struggling to come to terms with my mums diagnosis, she previously had breast cancer and was in remission for 4 years up until two years ago, she was admitted to hospital unwell where they found secondary cancer in the bone. It is incurable but managed with chemo tablets and regular visits and scans. I just can’t get my head around it. I am a single parent of 5 and I am just struggling mostly in the evenings. All I do is cry. I’m trying my hardest to keep positive as she is the strongest most positive woman. I never let her see me upset or hurt, I am just trying my best to do all I can for her. I’m hoping this is the right place to be posting and I’ve not got it all confused, my head just seems such a blur. Thank you xxxx

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    Hi Dora,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear why you're here and I fully understand how upset you feel. My Mum had primary breast cancer for 12 years, before she was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer, which had spread to her liver, lungs, brain and bones. We all struggle with news like this. During Mum's cancer journey, I found it best for all of us to try and dwell on making memories, instead of bemoaning the fact that we were going to lose her. That's not to say that I didn't cry, because I cried bucket loads in private. Don't worry about the crying. This is a great stress reliever.

    I am glad to hear that her cancer is being treated with chemo tablets and regular visits and scans. Do you have people to support you at this difficult time? Please remember that we are always here for you.

    PIease keep in touch and let us know how you get on. 

    Kind regards,


    Jolamine xx

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    Hello My mum. Been diagnosed also with oesophageal cancer, was totally unexpected and a massive shock. I have cried more than ever in my life when no one around but I am OK when with her I tend to take control (in a nice way) I cannot get out of my head worse case scenarios etc, go to sleep thinking of it and wake up thinking of it.

    I know no help as such but of course it is terrible and I have not coped well (behind her back) 

    Just wishing you well and let you know I feel exactly the same xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Kirstybu

    Hi Kirstybu,

    I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your mum's diagnosis too. This always comes as a shock, no matter how well prepared we think we are. I am glad to hear that you are managing to be strong for you Mum, even if not in private. Don't worry about those tears. Crying is a great way to get rid of some of that pent up anxiety.

    I am glad to hear that your Mum is still keeping well and doesn't need a stent. It is also good news to hear that there is no spread and that no surgery is needed.  This certainly doesn't sound like worst case scenario and the fact that it is treatable by radiotherapy sounds reassuring.

    PIease keep in touch and let us know how you both get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,


    Jolamine xx

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