Hi Scotch25,

I'm sorry to hear of your situation - this sounds incredibly difficult and it must be really tough, especially without all the information at this point as to his condition. I hope you're able to find out more soon about this, and once you do then perhaps it will give some more understanding and also some guidance on how best to support him. Do try when you can to discuss with the doctor how best you may be able to help, as well as what support can potentially be offered from elsewhere.

You may find it helpful to reach out to some other specialists for guidance, in order to both help your husband and also yourself. Macmillan offer support to people in situations similar to yours, and they have a helpline for this.

You are also welcome to give our nurses a call if you'd like to talk things through. You can reach them on freephone 0808 800 4040 - Monday-Friday, 9-5.

It's important to keep looking after yourself through all this too. Getting support from others, including reaching out to friends and family and others around you, may help with this. We are also always here on the forum if ever you need to reach out to people who understand, or even if you simply just want to write things down.

In the meantime, hopefully you'll get some more replies here soon.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Got a date for scan 19th January.

Hi.....My name is Den and I first of all want to say you are in my thoughts. 

I also have a husband with oesophagus cancer who was diagnosed in Jan 2023.  He is now on his third lot of chemo and struggles on a daily basis with eating.  Our world has been turned upside down since we were told of the cancer.  Its like being in a nightmare as we have gone from living a normal life to now not knowing what tomorrow will bring.  Its all hospital appointments, medications, scans, blood tests and praying he can eat a bit better each day.  It's all we talk and think about.  Its one of the hardest things we have ever been through as a family so I totally understand everything you are going through.  My new mantra is "one thing at a time" as it becomes overwhelming otherwise.

I find it extremely hard as do you re the food side of the problem.  I have gone from cooking from scratch every day for the three of us, to now cooking two different types of dinners every day as my husband can only eat food that is not lumpy and has a lot of fluid (like gravy).  It is really hard to watch him struggle to eat.  We have tried to eat out a few times but sadly it doesn't work for us.  He ends up being sick so if we do go out, we normally end up just having tea or coffee and maybe a soft cake which he can manage now and then.  This is a tough situation for both you and your husband but you are not alone.  Good luck for the scan. 

Hello Den thank you for replying to my post, we are going through a very similar experience and I will also keep you in my thoughts. Things have changed my husband was admitted to hospital on Thursday to have his pain managed better also has had an x ray ct scan results show his cancer is spreading they mentioned bone clusters? The lump now lumps are enlarged lymph nodes he is also awaiting an MRI. MDT meeting on Monday. Pain is managed better with liquid morphine every 4 hrs slow releasing morphine aswell  he is eating small bits now like soup and  ice cream as he is on megace which is known to improve appetite in some cancer cases. I spoke to mcmillian volunteers to gain support for me they sign posted me and referred me  to a service called improving cancer journey where I will be able to chat and be offered support. Its so important we look after us to be strong for our husbands. I hope you have plenty of support around you, and are able to talk, its important to take care of yourself. X

Thanks for your reply.  Sorry to hear your husband was admitted into hospital, what a worry for you. I’m glad he has his pain medicine sorted now. What a crazy journey we are all on.  

I haven’t really spoken to anyone re our situation but may reach out to the McMillian nurses for some support soon as I am finding it overwhelming sometimes. My daughter is being very supportive but she’s only 21 and my family are always texting to see how we are. But unless you are going through what we are going through, it’s very difficult to let people in.  

my husband has now got to have injections for 5 days to help with his low white cell count, which I am having to do.  I don’t remember my wedding vows saying anything about injecting your husband lol. But I will do anything to help him.   I find the best way to relax is to take the dogs out for a long walk so I can recharge my batteries.  
I hope your husband gets on ok and that you find some time to relax. Take care and keep in touch on here x

Hi Den I hope all is OK with you. My husband is now home, pain is managed very well now with morphine he does not have much energy, and is eating small amounts drinking plenty fluids, we have an appointment with his oncologist on Wednesday. X

Hi ya. I’m really pleased your husband is home now and his pain is sorted. I hope Wednesday goes well for him.  My husband has had a few bad days with a bad stomach but today has managed to eat a little.  I know it’s horrible for them but it’s also hard for us too watching them and trying to do our best.  What a crazy time for us all. Please let me know how he gets on with his appointment and look after yourself X 

Thinking of you both for tomorrow  x 

Hi 

My husband has this too .it's so very hard to see and be able to do nothing  

He is having immunotherapy and chemotherapy and we have had scan but still awaiting results but he is so very tired and dosent sleep well. 

We came to bed at 10pm and he is up now .I would be grateful for any advice on how I'm able to help him . 

I feel helpless 

Many thanks for listening