I am not really sure how I should start.  My life has been completely turned upside down.  I am currently awaiting the results for myeloma.  A mass was accidently found in the sacral ala in my right hip with an abdominal mass with lesions on my spine and adrenal gIands.  I  have had further CT and MRI`s - had more blood drained that I actually thought was humanly possibly.  But now I wait.  It is the waiting that is destroying me.  When I have a definitive diagnosis, I can move on, but I just seem to be stuck in a cycle of anger, denial, tears and guilt.  I have a 13 year old daughter.  

i joined this forum to try and get some prospective and to share.  I feel like the information that I have will make my brain explode.  I can`t really talk to anyone until I have some answers.  The concept of helplessness is consuming me and making me drown.