I cannot give advice but do offer support to both of you.

Hello DPW

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis. Undoubtedly it's an emotional time for you both and I hope that tomorrow's appointment brings some reassurance about the next steps. 

I'm sure that if he saw your post he would comment anyway but I thought I'd tag in ProfBaw into this message. He supported his wife through a diagnosis of breast cancer and the subsequent treatment. I'm sure that he would be happy to share his perspective on their journey with you, as he has done with many others on this forum. 

Do let us know how you both get on at the appointment tomorrow. If there's anything you want to chat through with our nurses at any point then you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. 

Sending you both my best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hi that must have been an awful shock ,I hope things go as well as they possibly can ,this is a really good site and you'll get lots of support ,I'm sure there'll be others here soon  who are maybe in a similar position and can maybe offer advice ,I hope tomorrow gives you some answers so you will know what the treatment plan is for your wife ,someone is always here for you .

Hi, I was kindly tagged into this thread by a moderator.

I'll start off by saying, you're at the scary part just now. The not knowing. This isn't supposed to come across as being crass, but luckily, that waiting is just about over if the results are all in tomorrow. You'll know where you'll stand. It will take a good few days to get your heads around it all, but i promise you, you will. Have a good cry, a good walk and anything else in between, then you'll be ready to face the next part. But yeah, this is easily one of the worst parts mentally.

I'm surprised they used the word "metastatic", because to the untrained mind, that dials the fear factor up so much more during this stage.

I apologise about timelines (some might be out by a month or 3) because as you'll soon find out yourselves, time just seems to stand still, and days and months just blend into one during the diagnosis and treatment stage. Just over 2 years ago, my wife was diagnosed with stage 3, grade 3 breast cancer. She had two rather large tumours in her left breast and 2 lymph nodes under her armpit affected. I suppose because it was in her nodes, it was technically classed as "metastatic", but that word was never used.

Anyway, over 2 years later, she still classed as cancer free. I won't go into much detail about treatment, and timelines because in our experience no 2 people are the same. She's met people who had ops only, some who had ops and radiotherapy, some who have just required meds to treat it, and like my wife some who had everything and the kitchen sink thrown at it. But lymph node involvement doesn't mean there's no hope. Just means systematic treatment will probably be required, e.g. chemo.

Out if interest, has she been told it's breast cancer (that's usually what armpit node involvement is in women), as you didn't mention what type of cancer she has.