Hi BellaTreefrog,

A very warm welcome to our forum. 

I am so sorry to hear of the impact that cancer has had on so many of your family members. It is hard to answer this question, as we all react differently. I am not a doctor, but it sounds as if your brother may be clinically depressed. Has he spoken to his GP about trying anti-depressant medication, to help alleviate this situation? The other thing that might help is for him to speak to a cancer counsellor about how he feels. It is often easier to talk to a stranger about how he feels than talking to loved ones, who he is possibly afraid of upsetting further. Do you have a Maggie's Centre nearby? They offer a number of different services for cancer patients and their families. If not, there are a number of other cancer charities around the country. His care team, or his GP should be able to point him in the right direction. Can I ask what stage your brother's cancer is - I hope that it is not as advanced as your Dad's. However, I am glad to hear that your Dad is doing really well.

Many of us get quite annoyed when we get too much positivity from friends and family, as we feel that they are just placating us, while we are naturally thinking the worst. However, just to be contrary, we are also upset if people ignore our condition. If he is not working, is he getting benefit, as a result of his cancer diagnosis? Many of us take a big financial hit when we get a diagnosis, but there is help available.

I am sorry that I cannot be of more help to you at present,. Please keep in touch and let us know how he gets on. We are always here for you and your family.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx