My husband has advanced prostrate cancer. I’m his carer

My husband had Adenocarcinoma of the prostrate radical prostatectomy 2005. June 2021 his PSA  had risen to 30 after many year of being undetected.   After having a Ct scan he was told he has bone lesions in his abdomen,pelvis thoracic, lumbar, and pelvis.  Prostrate metastases.

he was then put on hormone LHRHa three monthly.  In that time he has aged dosent want Togo out, sits every day.  When we go to see a doctor he jokes and acts like a child.  Recently he fell and broke his ankle in the garden and because he has been told to rest, he sits with his leg up and really dosent move hardly at all.  For a long time he has started to not want to get involved with any thing; but it’s worst now, he has with drawn from every thing, he has know male contact, conversation or any contact with anyone but me.

he has for a long time say hello but go to another room when anyone visits. He dose t watch TV only the news.  He forgets things, he get aggression with me and and talks to him self a lot.  I have to be very careful what I say because he turns every thing to some thing I don’t mean.  He dose t want a social life at all.  He can’t stand the music on the radio when I leave the room he turns it off.  When I go out to do shopping the house is in silence, he hates the dog barking and gets really nasty.  I have tried to speak to doctor but I think they think he is fine.  Life isn’t good.  I know he is 80 now but! 

  • Hi Norma,

    That sounds awful for you both - it’s so easy for both patients and their carers to slip into depression. Not everyone’s cup of tea, I know, but is there a local support group, Maggies or MacMillan you could access? Your GP or cancer nurse could refer you. 

    Best wishes

    Dave

  • When I started reading your story it was exactly what is happening to us.  The only thing is we were told it was prostrate cancer, then it wasn't, then turns out it was, very little treatment, now   spread everywhere.  Put in a PALs complaint but its not going to change things tbhe damage is done.  My hubby has been let down on so many levels