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Cancer bereavement

Sweater1940
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Hi everyone I lost my mum just over 12 months ago to cancer I'm really struggling to deal with her death still I'm 57 and feel I should be dealing with it better but I'm not I feel like a child who needs her mum, towards the last week of her death things was a bit moody between us she was angry because she wanted To go home from the hospice and myself and my sister tried to tell her we couldn't really look after her properly at home as I don't live near and she became a little unpleasant with us about stuff and she said things that hurt me , I'm struggling to deal with this and the fact the doctors gave us hope that she had longer than she actually had I would never have left her if I had known she was going to die a few days later when she got home I feel so guilty and sad all I wanted was to be with her when she died I know she had had enough with the pain of cancer but I feel I was robbed of being with her to hold her had as she died and it's that I can't deal with counselling isn't for me but how do I deal with it 

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    Hello Sweater1940, 

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know you mentioned counselling isn't for you, but perhaps you could try and talk to your GP about how you have been feeling since you lost your mum? I thought I would also share with you our page on Coping with Grief as you will see that feeling guilty and sad are emotions many people feel as a result of grief but there's nothing you should feel guilty about in reality. I would suggest you get in touch perhaps with Cruse as has been suggested by some of my colleagues. Their helpline is 0808 808 1677.

    I hope that you will hear from other forum members who have also lost a loved one recently and who feel or have felt the same way as you do now and that they will be along shortly to share their story with you. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hello Sweater1940, 

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know you mentioned counselling isn't for you, but perhaps you could try and talk to your GP about how you have been feeling since you lost your mum? I thought I would also share with you our page on Coping with Grief as you will see that feeling guilty and sad are emotions many people feel as a result of grief but there's nothing you should feel guilty about in reality. I would suggest you get in touch perhaps with Cruse as has been suggested by some of my colleagues. Their helpline is 0808 808 1677.

    I hope that you will hear from other forum members who have also lost a loved one recently and who feel or have felt the same way as you do now and that they will be along shortly to share their story with you. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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