Hello jeremy60

I'm so sorry to hear that your mobility has declined over the past few weeks. It's understandable that you may be feeling anxious about this but I'm glad to hear that someone has already arranged for a community physiotherapist to visit you. I'm sure they will be able to arrange for you to have some equipment supplied at home to make life a little easier and to make sure that you're safe both at home and when you're out and about. 

I wanted to let you know that you're most welcome to call our team of nurses to chat things through. Often talking with someone can help and I know our nurses will be happy to offer any advice, information, and support they can. If you'd like to talk with them they're available Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on freephone 0808 800 4040. 

I hope that your upcoming scans and x-rays shed some light on what's happening and that the hospital is able to help improve things for you. Keep in touch Jeremy and let us know how you get on. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hello Jenn

Thankyou so much for your reply to my chat.  It is nice to know that there is a number to ring and chat.   I could have done with a chat yesterday because I went to bed at 6.30pm and for some reason I'm not sure why but I just burst into tears and couldn't stop. My wife was trying her best to ask what was the matter but I just couldn't answer. It wasn't just the crying but the fact I didn't have an answer or explanation as to why.    I haven't felt like that since the day 3 years ago when I went to the hospital for what I thought was going to be the results of a PET scan on my shoulder, and then to be told that there scan had showed lung cancer .  I was shattered within 2 minutes.

How on earth am I going to tell my wife.  What do I do, what do I say, how do I say it. Then there's my 3 children to tell as well.

 I think I burst into tears because everything I'd been holding in just came to the top.  The cancer, the shoulder, the numbness in my left arm and now right leg, being unable to walk properly without the aid of a stick , getting out of breath so easily and quickly.  Being unable to work and do the job I love as hgv driver as my hgv license was revoked by the dvla.

What really hurts is the fact that in 2017 I did a charity walk for Macmillan from my home in Bradford to Blackpool and the tower being my finish line.   I did it by myself but had a tracker on my phone so I knew I was being watched.  A walk of 78 miles in 27 hours and thoroughly enjoyable.  Yet now I can't get upstairs without stopping to catch my breath.  Sometimes it hurts to catch my breath and feel I'm not managing to catch my breath.   So much going on yet don't feel I'm coping with it all.

Anyway thanks again for your reply and hopefully at some point I'll be able to get things in perspective 

Take care.  Jeremy 

Hello Jeremy

I'm sorry to hear that you felt so low last night. Sometimes there is no just reason for why we breakdown and cry - it's just the emotional pressure of all that you've been dealing with. Hopefully it was cathartic and you feel a little less heavy for releasing some of that weight you've been carrying. 

Do give our nurses a call if you need to. there are also other helplines available to talk to such as Macmillan and Maggies. In fact you may want to have a look at the Maggie's website and pop into your local centre when you go for your tests in a few weeks. I'm sure you'll be made welcome with a cuppa and a chat. 

In the meantime Jeremy, keep in touch with us here and we'll do our best to lend a listening ear and support you if we can. 

Best wishes to you and your wife, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator