Hello, so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis and what you are going through. It's very difficult and there is no text book answer on how to deal with all of this.. 

My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 Bowel cancer which has spread to liver, diagnosed in Sep. Quite honestly we didn't think we would be spending this Christmas with him but he is fighting it and having chemo and immunotherapy which he is responding well to 

My advice to you is to stay strong but don't ignore your own feelings ans take time out for yourself, self care and to process it all, spend time with friends when you're ready and take the good days as wins. 

What treatment have they offered for your Dad? If they offer treatment I was suggest you take it, also do not be worried to seek second opinions. Oncologists are amazing but from my short experience in this system, they are not always right and DO make mistakes. 
 

Talk to the Macmillon nurses, they're amazing and offer a lot of comfort in a hard time. They have advice but are also a shoulder to lean on to navigate things. 
 

Wish you all the best xxx 

Hey,

They offered to have the operation to cut it out but he doesnt want to have bags on and they also saihebwud get 4 exra years but theybalso said he wud be in a wheelchair majority of the time and he said he cant live his life like that as mucas it will hurt us all and himself.

Thanks for replying xx

Hello, 

Is it in his bowel? 

If the diagnosis is very fresh i would give him some time and space to process everything. My dad was offered an operation and a stoma in the initial consultation and he was adamant he did not want a 'bag' we all tried to reassure him that they have improved immensely etc, he is 75 and a proud man.. but, about a month later he said if the treatment works and they suggest a reseaction and a stoma then he would take it. 
 

it's a lot of information to digest but he may change his mind. I found that my Dad really trusted the Macmilloon nurses and their advice, if he hasn't had a call with them yet maybe that could be a suggestion? 
 

Have they offered chemotherapy? x