Good afternoon

I hope everyone is keeping well ...

After 8 months of repeated Jaundice, I was finally diagnosed in June 2022, as having a Bile Duct Cancerous Stricture, at least a 5 out of 6 chance ( 84%) of being cancerous, being kept open with a stent and was offered a Whipple procedure.

Shortly after this diagnosis I failed in completing 3 VSED's ( Voluntary Stopping Eating and Drinking ) to hasten my death in order to avoid the harsh realities of this cancer and the Whipple procedure.

To cut a long story short, after the VSED's I had a change of heart to some extent and decided to just let the cancer take its course until it takes my life. Then last week after spending more than usual time with my estranged daughters ( 18 and 22 years ) I have tentatively considered having the Whipple ...

Our family disintegrated in 2009 and I've seen very little of my daughters for various reasons.

I still live alone, I know my children would like me in the background of their lives, but my view on life is if you have no soulmate, life is not worth living, even if you have two children who have lived a disadvantaged life.

So the thought of the Whipple procedure, the receovery period, the long term complications and living alone, I am verging on declining the procedure again.

But I writing this post to try and find a light of any kind from someone that would offer any kind of advice to help me decide to go through with the Whipple.

Maybe I should see going through with the Whipple and being around a little longer for my girls as some form of redemption ?   But it all sounds so terrible ...

If I let the cancer take over, with pain killers, it sounds easier and potentially less traumatic than having the Whipple and being a worry for my children for the next few years or so ...

Anyone who can tell me the harsh realities of the Whipple and it's consequences or maybe less than harsh realities, I would be eternally grateful.

I'm a year on from my first Jaundice episode and my consultant has told me this week, I'm on the cusp of full blown invasive cancer in my bile duct.

I thank anyone in advance for reading my post and anyone for your response.

thanks

Bonobo