Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 3 replies
  • Views 493 views
  • Users 0 members are here

My dad has been told no more treatment

Pyeman86
Offline

Hi all,

 im really struggling to come to terms with the news i recived tuesday last week. We have been told my dads cancer has spread from his prostate into his spine, lymph nodes, pelvis and now into a tube in his liver and the tumors are growing and chemo isnt working any more after 4 lots hes been told there is no more treatment and all they can do now is make him as comfortable as possible. I'm stuggling to come to terms with this ever since they have said they are going to be getting mcmillan involved and they are putting him on end of life care. im just scared what is next to come and how long he will be with us for. I dont quite know how to explain it to my daugher who is 4 years old she keeps asking if grandad is going to get better and everytime this breaks my heart knowing that my dad wont get a chance to see her grow up. my dad has his 60th birthday in march and is determind to get to that. I dont really do these sort of things becuase im not one for opening up but i just dont like the feeling of the unknown. 

thanks for listening.

Take care 

Gareth  

  • Offline

    Hello Gareth and a warm welcome to our forum, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your dad, that he has been told there is no more treatment available to him. This must have been devastating news for you and your family and truly heartbreaking for you to know they are putting him on end of life care. 

    It can be hard to know what to say to children when confronted with a situation like this and it can be so difficult to find the right words. I can imagine your heart truly breaks every time she asks if grandad is going to get better. There is useful information on our website on talking to children about cancer which may be helpful to you. Your little girl is very young but the guidance you will find on our page is adapted to very young children too. 

    It can be a real struggle to open up about all this and I wanted you to know that we are here for you and that so many of our forum members understand what you are going through at the moment and have also been in the difficult situation of having to talk to a small child about cancer. I will let them come and share their story with you now.

    We're thinking of you as you are going through this really tough time and if you wanted to talk to one of our cancer nurses about anything, you can reach them on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

    I know how you feel because not long ago I was at that point with my dad ️ Please know that it might feel very lonely at the moment, but there are others out there who understand what you're going through.  Meditating/breathing techniques help me, and I find it useful to help care for my dad. 
    There are some brilliant books to read to children that discuss close people passing away, I recently bought one for my nephews. 
     

    Sending peace 

  • Offline in reply to snow65

    Hi snow65

    Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I hope things are going as well as they can for you. Ahh I may take a look at those books thank you. I will also try the breathing exercises .

     

    best wishes 

    Gareth 

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.