I am finding it upsetting just reading how people are treating you so I can't imagine how you feel! I'm so sorry that you are going through so much already and that woman was so disgraceful. It is disgusting that she sneered and accused you of lying. It's very ignorant of her, there are so many people with cancer who don't look ill.

She is in the wrong. You should still mention what you are going through and I'm so sorry it's gotten to the point that you feel like bottling it up would be better. I hope you do seek support.

With everything you are going through, you shouldn't have to also feel disliked. It is such an upsetting feeling. They shouldn't be ghosting you, it really shows more about them that they wouldn't want to help someone going through cancer. Maybe they don't know what to say or feel uncomfortable. This doesn't justify ghosting, they should really say that they're here to listen. Kindness costs nothing.

This is the last thing you needed. You must have been looking forward to going back to london and catching up with familiar faces. I can imagine what you received from them stirred up so many emotions, especially since it was probably so unexpected. How do people not realise that their words and actions can have such an impact.

Please remember that this isn't anything to do with you and these people are in the wrong. I really hope you don't come across more people like this. They need to educate themselves if they think everyone with cancer loses their hair.

I'm here if you ever feel like ranting. I hope people who are in a similar situation find your post so they can give you comfort and advice.

I find myself angry and enraged on your behalf, so goodness only knows how you feel!  I have found myself that people get really uncomfortable when cancer doesn't look like they expect it to - when the person with cancer has hair, is smiling, is mobile, it tends to scare them because they don't want to believe that cancer (especially cancer carrying a death sentence) can look like them.  So I hope you can step back enough to see that if they have a reaction like this, then it says more about their own fears than anything at all to do with you.

Was this woman a good friend? It seems to me that, at this point in your life, you need to be surrounded by the people that love you and will be there for you. Don't let insignificant people weigh in on how you feel as you already have so much to carry emotionally.

I would also recommend speaking with Macmillan, the nurses who run the helplines are some of the kindest, most supportive and empathetic people I have ever spoken to and will happily listen and support you whenever needed. And at the very least you can always come on here to speak to someone, there's always somebody here who can empathise.

I hope you find some place to be happy soon x

Hello Nigella,

I'm really sorry to hear that you are being treated like this. It's disgusting. I agree with everything that Amelia98 says more. Very unpleasant individuals. 

I have been in touch with MacMillan and they have given me some great links. One is for 'Maggie's'. They have locations all over so it might be worth tapping in to this resource. They offer space to talk and great support. I've been reaching out to get the support I need right now. 
 

MacMillan have also been on the end of a phone for me to chat to. They've been great. Plus, coming on here to offload. I've needed it. 
 

Important to have positive people around you right now, Nigella. 
 

Please be good to yourself and take care. Always happy to chat on here anytime. 
 

Very best wishes

B 
 

Hi thank you for getting back to me, I will contact Macmillan and your words have been a great help to me. I am not getting much support at the moment and this has impacted my sleep and as thoughts are racing through my head at night. just needed someone to say I am not going crazy.

Thanks for getting back to me it's a real help. I have started with Maggies recently, it's been really helpful and I have met some people in a similar position. I think I need some new friends.  

Hiya , I'm sorry about your situation but you're obviously a fighter to battle cancer and win , did you have a lumpectomy then and radiotherapy after ? Xx

No nothing like that, i got diagnosed at stage 4 brest  cancer that has spread to the bones mainly my spine and straght away  put on hormone drugs . i never had a lump or operation and no chemo  in the beging i was takeing a reseptore drug called Palpiciclib but i. didnt react well to it.