My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer last week. We were all taken by complete shock, she had been a little under the weather but we never expected this. Heartbroken. 

i am distraught, lost my dad a few years ago to cancer but my dad we didnt have to see deteriorate. My mum knows she has a terminal diagnosis, she is scared Of what is to come. 

I feel so useless, and scared, im crying all the time. I feel

like im grieving even though she ia still here. I don't know how I will live without her, my dad death really affected me badly, and because of that I don't know how I will cope at all. I feel so alone. My mum was a great support to me during these years.

today I was supposed to stay with her for few days, but I can't believe I've tested positive for covid!!! Trying to find someone the stay with her for a few days.

palliative nurse will come to see her next week. 
I'm having to do loads of financial things and it make me feel sick to the stomach. All feels so meaningless. 
i don't want her to be in pain. I love her so much. I really don't know how life with continue. I want to tell my mum

sonmuch how I'm struggling (selfish) but everyone tells me to be strong- I just don't know how to be. 
too many emotions right now. Life seems so unfair.