Good morning all. Newbie here, very scared and anxious newbie who's struggling to word this so I hope it makes sense.

I'm a 32 year old female who recently had a positive FIT test but it took me some time to get my Dr to give me those tests. I was "diagnosed" with IBS around 11 years ago when I had a bout at college while under stress from exams and being a young single mum. I hadn't really thought much about it as my mum, brother, nan, auntie, great auntie and I'm sure more all have it too. There were times when it was worse like expected but last November something changed and I didn't feel right. I can't explain it but my symptoms just were not the same so I managed to get an appointment with a GP at my surgery. He was lovely and understanding and didn't make me feel stupid for my concerns. He was shocked that I'd been diagnosed with IBS as I'd never had any tests to prove it. Although he was sure that's what it was he said it should be the last stop on the diagnosis train once everything else had been ruled out. Finally someone who was taking me seriously and not just brushing me under the carpet because I suffer with health anxiety or because I'm "too young" .

He ordered bloods and said once they had come back we would proceed with the next steps, an examination and a stool sample. Kinda wish I had pushed for that then but I felt comfortable he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately this GP left the surgery not long after that so I had to speak with another who wasn't taking me seriously and said my blood work was good, no concerns, it is just IBS. Worrying will make it worse she says. She was one of a few Drs who said this to me in the space of 7 months. 

Fast forward to May when something was really off with not just my bowels but my bladder too. I thought I had an infection and I was in agony so I took myself to an urgent treatment centre. No infection but had microscopic blood in urine. She suggested contacting GP as it may be kidney stones. Next day phone call with yet another different GP who ordered another urine sample but one that was sent off to the lab and not just a dip test. He said it's more conclusive. Results back a week later and all normal. No one told me this, I had to log into my NHS app to see my results on my record. Still having discomfort I tried some Cystitis medicine and that seemed to relive it but I couldn't help shake the feeling something was still wrong with both my bladder and bowels but maybe it was just my anxiety going into overdrive. 

I contacted my surgery and had to almost force a face to face app and I got one but not for a few weeks as it wasn't urgent. Unsurprisingly I saw another new Dr. He was also lovely and listened to me ranting and watched me ugly cry. He wasn't at all concerned about my bladder troubles and told me that I could try a Canesteen pessary incase of thrush ok. He did ask me to do 2 stool samples one of which was a FIT test. This was a Friday so would have to wait until the beginning of the next week, of cousre Monday came around and I had shy bowels but Tuesday was a different story. I took the sample to my surgery drop off point and expected to wait for a couple of weeks. Being the nervous Nelly I am I frequently checked my NHS app for results but nothing showed until around 10pm on a Friday night. I couldn't breath reading the results..I started hyperventilating. I couldn't tell my husband what was wrong so I flipped my phone round for him to read. I could see his face drop when he got to the part that said " needs a face to face with GP SOON, ideally within the next week. Advice to put on 2ww pathway for suspected Colorectal Cancer". Cancer. The word no one wants to read in their test results. I couldn't believe it. What made it worse was I had to find out myself. The date at the top of my results actually said 14th June, the date I put the samples in. Which begs the question why I hadn't heard from my GP, why did it take so long for my results to be shown in the system. 

Now from my extensive Googling into all things bowel/colon cancer related I understand that there are other things it could be and I also understand that my score which was 25 is fairly low in comparison to some others I've seen. That dosen't make me any less scared. 

I was having some issues Friday but put it to the back of my mind but I was so ill Saturday with excruciating cramps that I went to the urgent treatment centre again. The nurse was fab. I did explain that I think my anxiety had intensified the pains and apologised for wasting her time. She done some checks but there was nothing acute so she couldn't do much. She did note there was still microscopic blood in my urine which I find a little concerning. She made me promise to contact my surgery first thing Monday and told me that if they wouldn't give me an app on the day then I should ask to speak to the Practice Manager.

Just so you know my symptoms that recently changed, that prompted me to go back to a GP yet again were very loose soft stools, sometimes just watery. Stomach cramps, heavy pressure pushing down on my back passage, urgency to go to the point I almost had an accident multiple times, needing to empty bowels not long after eating and I'm convinced I saw small lumps of dark red/black blood in a lump of very soft stool.

I know all of that was a lot to digest and I've just thrown it all out there at you all but I just needed to get it off my chest to people who will understand the fear of the unknown. I have a 14 year old with Special Needs and the fear of leaving her behind sends me into complete meltdown. All of a sudden there is nothing else important to me. I'm trying to function normally as I don't want to worry her but it's so hard. Made worse by the fact I haven't even spoken with my GP yet which means a referral hasn't been made . Hopefully I'll be able to talk to someone tomorrow.

Anyway thank you for your time and allowing me to vent.