Just lost.....

Hi all,

I have no idea how to start this.

So my Mum is quite elderly (75) and has quite a few health issues over the years. Kidney failure, heart failure, PVD, TIA's etc but generally the last few years have been quite good. As the only son, I've always been there for her and always will be. Thankfully she lives with me and my fiance so is well looked after.

Mum had bladder cancer about 5 years ago and the hospital did a magical job and removed all the small tumors in the bladder and since then, there has no reoccurrence.

However earlier this year she started to struggle to eat solid foods. So we went to the GP and they were brilliant - chest X-Ray done withing a few days.

We found out that they found a 7.3cm growth on her right lung which is almost certainly cancerous.

Mum then had a Gastroscopy earlier this week and they've found more cancer in the mid of her oesophagus. They think it's likely this is the primary cancer, which clearly isn't great.

We are all just absolutely devastated and are now waiting to hear the biopsy results before we know more.

Mums sleeping all the time and is just distraught. I've no idea what I'm meant to do or to say.

I dont even know why I'm writing this lol nor do I know what to expect. I don't even know if I want to know.

  • Hello CForrest87 and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

    Your mum is really well looked after indeed as she is living with you and your fiance and I am sure she is truly grateful for everything you are doing and have done for her over the years. 

    It's great that your mum managed to stay cancer free for 5 years and that her bladder cancer operation was such a success. It's really sad though that they have found this growth on her right lung and have also detected cancer in her oesophagus. You will find information on oesophageal cancer on this page which I hope will be useful to you but obviously you will need to wait for the biopsy results to get a full picture of what you are dealing with. 

    There is information on our website which is specifically designed for Family, friends and caregivers of cancer patients and there you will find some good advice on how to best support someone with cancer. It can be really hard to find the right words to talk to your mum about this, but just being there for her is already a lot and I am sure you have such a strong bond that you communicate naturally with her and make sure she has everything she needs. So just keep on doing what you're doing but don't forget to still find time to look after yourself and your fiance. It is crucial to take the time to take care of yourself and recharge your batteries. 

    I hope that you will hear from other members of the forum who have also looked after a loved one with cancer and that they will be along shortly to share their experience with you. It does help to talk to others here who have been through something similar. 

    We're thinking of you, your fiance and your mum as you're going through these challenging times together.

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator