I know how you are feeling.  I will be having a throat biospy in the coming weeks.  I was told my appt could take up to 6 week to arrive which doesnt bear thiniking about.  Every moment of the day I am lost in thought of what may lie ahead.  I feel ike I have been carved out inside... hollow  , numb and unable to communicate with others.,, people speak to me and I am not even aware,  I am so closed up inside my own head.. 

Sleeping is so hard.  I did actually download an app for mindful meditation and relaxing, which I  must admit , it did acutally distract me and send me to a better more relaxed mindset and I fell asleep to it .  Annoyingly it is only free for 28 days so looks like I may need to invest for the long time frame I know is ahead .. if my biospy takes 6 weeks and my results 2 weeks I have another 2 months of this . :neutral:

Oh my that is such a long wait. Hope you get it done sooner, it is so difficult when they find something and I feel it's the not knowing and the wait after biopsy for results is the worst, I agree you cant function or turn off no matter how much you try. I have everything crossed for you that it is quick, good news and you have a speedy recovery x 

Omg that last paragraph of yours sums up EXACTLY how I feel!!

Stay strong everybody x

You are in my thoughts right now - have everything crossed for you ️

Thank you, ♥️

Well that didn't go as planned, results that were there for my throat were inconclusive, they found a polyp on my right vocal chord but I didn't ask if they had removed it. So I still have to wait to find out. Really fed up and my head is battered. X

Oh , a polyp would be good though, yes?  .  Not Cancer and removable with basic surgery.  But where was the  biospy site that is causing you pain .  What is their next plan of action - I am kinda elated even though you are bewildered ..  I had a little anxiety attack when your message appeared ️  

Biopsy site is more oral throat than vocal chords so a totally different place, I had 3 consultants in with me trying to figure out what the results that had come through were saying, none of them could understand them so still don't know if it's malignant or not. On the plus side I now have more meds as biopsy site isn't healing very well so hopefully these will work and I will soon be pain free. X

Uff that is mad .. perhaps you can chat with your doctor on how the land  lies for you moving forward .. Maybe they will be back in touch with next steps , if indeed you need one ! Hopefully the biopsy site will heal up with new meds and your life can continue *fingers crossed .. but you must be so frustrated with no real answers. *smacks head 

Very frustrated to be honest and the still not knowing is torture. Hopefully when I next see consultant I will get answers and after all this fingers crossed it's positive news xx

How frustrating!......and as you say more 'waiting torture'.....crossing everything for you that you get some good news!

Unless you are going thru this no one understands how mentally and physically draining waiting for results is....I'm absolutely exhausted by the end of the day (as I'm sure you both are). I am lucky that I am managing to sleep ok (despite some awful nightmares). When I wake up for the first 30 minutes I feel quite refreshed and 'normal'......gradually the anxiety starts to kick in and the throat starts to hurt. Then my mind starts going thru all the different scenarios of what could possibly happen and what I could have ahead of me. I'm still waiting for the CT scan results on my chest but now I have developed a cough and of course in my mind I'm thinking thats the cancer spreading to my lungs....stupid I know but I can't help it...I jump every time the phone rings and I'm dreading getting the letter thru the door asking me to go see the consultant....I wish they would just put 'all clear' or 'spread' on the letter rather than make me visit and get the news personally.....

I am trying to get to a place in my head where I say "*** the cancer I want my life back!"....... Its my daughter's 30th this year and I have so many plans.....had already booked a surprise holiday for her but fear I may not be able to make it........I'm scared of getting the needle biopsy and I'm terrified of the actual biopsy....

I just want to skip all this testing and waiting crap and go straight to treatment.....I feel like the longer I wait the more it will spread....how stupid is that?

sorry for the rant and the semi swearing :angry::happy:

Thank you,

there's no need to apologise for the semi swearing I'm sure at this moment in time we are all letting some profanities out, I certainly did at the hospital. I didn't have a needle biopsy or any other tests apart from the biopsy  under General Aneasthetic. I can 100% understand your fear and the fear of it spreading, it is the most mentally draining place to be. I have everything crossed that you get positive news. Maybe try speaking to your GP as they sometimes get the results before you get to see your consultant x

Thank you,

there's no need to apologise for the semi swearing I'm sure at this moment in time we are all letting some profanities out, I certainly did at the hospital. I didn't have a needle biopsy or any other tests apart from the biopsy  under General Aneasthetic. I can 100% understand your fear and the fear of it spreading, it is the most mentally draining place to be. I have everything crossed that you get positive news. Maybe try speaking to your GP as they sometimes get the results before you get to see your consultant x