I cant offer any experience but I have been referred to ENT by. my doctor today due to abnormal swelling around my left tonsil area.  I had ongoing throat irritation in the new year,  a course of antibiotics did nothing to help .. 

I have my fingers crossed all will be okay for you today and your diagnosis will be much of nothing or easily rectified. 

Thank you for your reply. I've had a friend with swellings on their tonsils, which turned out to be harmless cysts. So I guess a lump in that area isn't always as bad as it seems.

My issue is a little lower down. Tried looking with a torch, but its somewhere near base of tongue or slightly lower I think, so couldn't see it. Probably best I don't see it. I did a week of antibiotics for something else coincidentelly. Did nothing for my issue either.

Preparing for the worse today. Not sure how you do that. I feel tired, weak and worried all a the same time. Trying also to tell myself that perhaps ignorance, at least for the next few hours, is bliss.

Fingers crossed for Thursday for you,,, do you have a set time for your call?. Will it clash with my PET scan , I am due in at 9:30 and told I will be there for approx 2hrs .. your day will distract me at least .. 

I am not looking forward to PET scan , the thought of have radioactive substance put in me  and then having to lay down for an hour whilst it works around me.. my chap cant stay with me because of the nature of the substance and I will prob have another anxiety moment .   

That said, I do have two treatmnets of chemo looming too , pretty much the same scenario but subtance entering in for around 8hrs  .. and I was talking to a lady also just disgnosed with soft palate cancer and having the same treatment,  she was so worried her hair was going to fall out and I must admit I thought all chemo did this too but apparantly the type we have does not cause hair loss.  So , I have had an appt at the hairdressers booked  in for months and it is on the 21st April and now I know my hair isnt going to fall out I am going to go head and get it done before I start my treatment ..  it is weird how things play on your mind though as a few nights later I woke from a dream that I was sat in the Hairdressers having my chemotherapy , the mind  eh lol ., 

Oh at least you're in first thing in the morning- get it over and done with and less time to get worked up. I read about the pet scans and they sound much better than the mri! I'm sure whatever they inject into you won't feel any different from the stuff they inject into you for the mri too. You'll have to try use some of your mindful breathing whilst you're in there and think about the Easter weekend coming up. Will message you to see how it's going. My appointment is at 2:45 on Thursday. 
 

I had a really bad panic attack when going under for the general anesthetic and then when I came round again - when I woke up I was sat up thrashing around at the nurses and shouting for the lady I met in the waiting room before I went in for the biopsy ha, so glad she wasn't around or would have been embarrassing.

I read a blog of a man who went through the same treatment including 2 rounds of chemo and 30 rt sessions. Was a good read and helped to give you an idea of what to expect. Think he was called Gary? Have you seen it? X 

oh , haha ! thats quite funny ! I was actually so calm when I came round from aneasthetic , it was like I was in a trance.  I was just sat watching all the other people. also coming out and how different everyone was .. (people watching ) . .a lady next to me  was asked by her nurse , scale of 10 how bad is the pain ,and she just kept screaming 10 10 10 and groaning so loudly .. , I didnt have much pain ,and my nurse was scaling mine out of 3, think I gave it a 1.5 but she was busy monitoring me and making notes and she kept coming up to me and telling me to breath , me telling her  'oh I am ' but she was like , no please,  you need to take big big deep breaths lol .. I think maybe my oxygen levels were low and my breathing too shallow, but I felt oddly calm  compared to how I was being wheeled into that theatre, then my heart was nearly beating out of my chest ..  but three times she came back and told me to breath lol ..   a guy over from me was sat telling jokes to his attending nurse , non stop jokes. he wouldnt shut up .. haha 

Yes, i am taking my headphones so I can meditate  when I am there lol  ..  I  love reading but find it so hard to say focused.. I end up reading many chapters and not recalling any of what I have read and have to back track again . 

I have read a few blogs on treatment for throat cancer  , some are horrifying,  some much more reassuring , it seems we all cope and react differently to the treatment, but I will see if I can find Gary's too .. 

x

Haha that's funny, I'd have been the lady screaming 10! bet it's entertaining being a recovery nurse in that area. Will see some things for sure! Had you been under general before or was it your first time? 
 

I thought Gary's was good, really informative and reassuring. Will send a link if I can find it! I'm trying spag Bol for tea tonight after your influence! Fingers crossed it doesn't burn ha! X

Fingers crossed for you -  we are having chilli con carne tonight but all going into blender again , apart from the rice

Yes funny story - i had my appendix out 20 years ago and I was always one who thought I would be one of those  allergic to anaesthesia  and would not wake up .  So , I was even worse back then but in so much pain I needed it to be over .  But when I was in pre op waiting for my biospyy my aneasthestist came by to chat - she said to me , "now you have had previous operation" , I said yes , I had , she said I know because i was your anaesthetist then and she said she had just fully qualified back then and I was one of her frist patients lol ! She said , "dont worry I have got better since" lol ...she said she had been away for many years and come back to this hospital and was so shocked to see her name and signature on my medical records lol 

Was this your first general anaesthetic? 

Spaghetti went down well! Had it with meatballs. Hope the chilli was nice - blending it is a brill idea. 
 

omg I can't believe that! That's amazing! Great little distraction for you too ha. I had GA for my appendics too but that was 18 years ago and I don't remember it very well. My anxiety has definitely gotten worse as I've gotten older too so I was expecting a rough ride  this time x

Great to hear , there is me blending spag bol meat to pulp  and you are enlarging it

Yes , it seemed to make the anaesthetists day .. she was telling others when I was being zipped off to theatre  -  they're all stood around sticking electrodes patches on me and catheters in yabbering away and I am like 'please hurry up or you may need to de-fib me at this rate".  .. 

I never realised how awful anxiety is and how badly it can destroy you ..  I cant imagine how it must be for people who have to face these scenarios alone . Hopefully today as eased your mind some since your phone calls   ️

X 

Hahaha love it! 
 

yes anxiety is bloody awful. CBT is great but I think everything goes out the window when you're in that state of panic. Yes I can't even begin to imagine what those people go through, hopefully they get support through charities as there are some really amazing ones. My mind has eased so much from those phone calls and I'm so so grateful. 
 

how are you feeling? Please let me know how you get on tomorrow I will be thinking of you x

MDT meeting complete and all seemed to happen at once..  My radiotherapy mask is being fitted next Wednesday followed straight after by a CT scan.  Then blood tests ready for my PEG surgery the very next day.  

They said treatment normally starts a week or so after the mask fitting , so they thnk it will begin 3rd May , the day after my birthday lol.... lucky ole me lol .. 

It is nice to see action at last .. daunting times ahead but its a ride i have to take and all I have to remember is it will end ..  

x

Good that the ball is rolling and the sooner you can get started the sooner it's all over. Will it be GA for the peg surgery? 
 

Oh typical. There's never a good day for these things though. Don't be drinking too much ha! We are supposed to move house on the 3rd may. Will be thinking of you.

I'll be here for a chat anytime you want to moan or talk about things xxx

Good that the ball is rolling and the sooner you can get started the sooner it's all over. Will it be GA for the peg surgery? 
 

Oh typical. There's never a good day for these things though. Don't be drinking too much ha! We are supposed to move house on the 3rd may. Will be thinking of you.

I'll be here for a chat anytime you want to moan or talk about things xxx

Oh apparently I will be heavily sedated but not knocked out .. she said i wont really remember anything and it is over very quickly .. 

oh house move is so stressful ,, exciting but hectic 

We intend to go out for a meal the weekend before and I probably will have more drink than I should , but whilst I can eh

I will be looking out for an update from you tomorrow too 

x

Oh that's good - better than GA. 
 

you deserve it! Hope you have a great time. 
 

hope your PET scan is going well. Just had a call from hospital to say my results aren't back so appointment moved to next week. Typical. X

another week waiting for  you grrr !  
 

I am presently sat in a comfy armchair in a liitle room hooked up to a drip for my radioactive glucose ... scan wont be for an hour or so though 
 

x

I know! I had a funny feeling it would happen when they said they'd not got them on Monday. Hopefully it's nothing too bad though after speaking with doc about my mri, so trying to think positivity.

how does the drip feel? And have they said when you'll get the results? X

All done and dusted and we managed to squeeze a walk in around nearby woods when we got home .

I didnt feel a thing with the drip, they took some blood did a small flush of saline water which just felt cold and then 15 minutes of the Kryptonite stuff haha .. PET scan is certainty quiet compared to MRI - i nodded off as it was so slow 

The results go straight to my consultant who I do get to see next week so i guess if there is anything ontoward she will tell me then - the only niggle I have is maybe my neck lymph nodes but the glands under my ears are definetly reactive at the moment.  I am not sure if its from stress or just my body trying to fend off the cancer - my consultant  did say they may simply be reactive but if it was spread they were easily treated at the same time as my throat 

Long weekend to look forward to now but my chap is working tomorrow to make up for time lost over the past few days 

Do you have anything nice planned over Easter? 
x

Aww lovely - it's been nice and mild today hasn't it. Hoping for a nice warm weekend. We were up all night with our wheezy toddler last night so spent the day on the sofa. Think this weekend may be a write off now too which is not ideal as we have a house to pack up! 
 

Ah doesn't sound too bad! I hate that saline flush they do I always nearly faint! Glad it's over! Did you say you see your consultant on Tuesdays? 
 

ah I hope it's just the stress! The amount of stress you'll be experiencing must be a shock to the system so you'd expect glands to be up wouldn't you. Fingers crossed that's just the case.

what do you have planned for Easter? X 

Ah , always tough when you have poorly young ones.. the best way to catch up is to sleep when they sleep even if its during the day time.  it gets easier when they get older and can deal with being ill better.  

We dont really have any plans, it will probably be a weekend like anyother but I do think the weather is supposed to be very nice ,so we will probably work on the garden and zip out for a few walks etc. .. 

Felt pretty *** yesterday evening , I think I took too much codiene and it makes me feel really out of sorts , it tackles pain but has it own downside.  The ENT department rang me yesterday evening and told me to up my codeine to 60mg 4 times a day,, but yikes it made me feel awful. .. 

I have been told that when my therapy starts the constant pain I am experiencing should stop when  therapy kicks in as it acts quite quickly shrinking and killing the cancer so I may have a few weeks where I feel better before the therapy side effects kick in and I get a whole new load of problems lol . . to be painfree and feel like the old me for just a week or two would be bliss even if it is for a limted time.. 

Hope your little one is feeling better today

x

Yes she's had such a tough time with her chest over the last year bless her. Just hoping she will grow out of it and it won't be asthma. 
 

Oh sorry to hear you're still in so much pain! I wasn't a fan of the codiene either, made me feel like I was constantly swaying! How come they have asked you to up it? That would be good if you could get a few weeks in pain free, I will keep my fingers crossed for you. 
 

hope you've had a nice day in the garden! Been beautiful weather. I need to get onto my weeding tomorrow but it's one of those jobs that seem impossible to start but not too bad once you get going ha x

Hey hey

How are you ? Is you throat pain easing up now ! I had an enjoyable long weekend - lots of work done in the garden ,  energy is failing me lately but i decided to try red bull and I must say it does give me a liltle ooopmh so may drink this more to get me throgh the days 

I have my therapy mask fitting tomorrow and CT scan  but my peg fitting is now moved to Monday .. 

Truly hoping you get your results through this week

Hope your little girl is recovered too
 

Jo

x 

I'm good! My throat is back to normal now thankfully, I just have the feeling that somethings stuck in it all the time but hoping it's scar tissue or just my throat adapting to the huge chunk they cut away ha. Been throwing down all the chocolate cake and Easter eggs to try get abit of weight back on, feel like a frail old lady.
 

so glad you had a good weekend, the weather was gorgeous wasn't it! Oh bless you, these last few weeks will have wiped you out! The red bull is a good idea ha! Not had any of that stuff in years. 
 

is it tomorrow you see consultant about pet scan? You'll have to let me know how the mask fitting is. Are you going to ask for the eye and nose holes? I might ring tomorrow to see if they've had results back - I'm too impatient for this kind of stuff. 
 

my daughter is a lot better thank you! She's been helping unpack all the boxes I've packed this weekend for the house move. Little monkey x