Hello

I have been with my partner 10 years but we do not live together as it would never have worked with my children.  He has no family in thi country, they are all in Mexico.  He is very private (he has issues with house keeping and won't let me help) so he won't let anyone visit his flat.  I am the only person he will share anything with.  I have a part time job and am supporting him at my house during the day when I am not at work.  He will only stay over when the kids are with their dad at the weekend.

He wants to believe he will be okay.  He has taken his first immunotherapy session and it hit him badly physically.  The next session is early Feb.  I can't get the day off and dare not let my boss know how bad his care arrangements are  or I won't get the promotion to full time that I desperately need since the HMRC mistakenly believe I earned 160 000 last year (I work in a library) and are pursuing me for money.

I don't know how badly the next round of immunotherapy is going to affect my partner.  I don't want to have the conversation that he ought to approach St Christopher's or McMillan as he needs to believe he is going to get better and I have to pretend that he will.  If I suggested otherwise I feel like I would be breaking his heart and his spirit.  I feel that if I leave it long enough he will figure it out for himself.  However I saw my father go through the same and he believed he would get better up until he died.

What do I do now?

It's so creepy at work.  My colleagues know and clearly don't know what to say as we spent the whole morning in silence.  I don't want to put this on my daughter who is 21 and has recovered from emotional problems. My sons wouldnt understand and it would upset them.  Talking to people at church is out because that's where we met and he has only last week let a couple of people know.  I would have to keep up the act with them that he is okay.  It's easier not to.