Hi everyone,

I new on here, its jan 2022. Ive been ill since oct 2020.

as i'm sure many of you will hve similar stories the last few years.

suppose the main hightlights are. In this time I've saw a gp once. mind not through an appointent, but when my wife cried at a nurse n she fetched him. 

imediately went private, no better. down thousands of pounds to get arguments from the nhs over spire wound share data, funny as nhs wont give me my data either.

with endless delays, and a 2 clear scans in november, my final test cameras both ends, were done on wedensday 12 jan 2022. been on iron tablets the last few months, stronger than i have been in years!

I'm self employed, lost a lot of work last year, after covid lockdowns the year before we're at the brink. my wife is at home with our 2,3. and 10 year old boys.

If you havn't guessed I'm stage 4 bowel cancer. I'm 44.

dont know why I'm posting this, the "friends" i have are more colleges, aquantinces. my closest called in today, then asked to borrow my table saw for a job.

I'm an incomer, a scot living in wales. both my parents died last year. 

only have customers i talk to.

i love my wife and children, but this feels like the end. I cant provide for them 

and they would be beetter off without me.

i'm here i suppose because i dont have anyone to talk to. 

I'm a burden to everyone

sorry 

bye