Husbands depression

My hubby has prostate cancer. He is struggling with the side effects of radiotherapy, but has become very withdrawn and tearful over the last few weeks. He is normally the life and soul of the party and a strong alpha male personality. I try to encourage him to talk to me but he just says he has no energy. Doctor has said he is depressed and given medication. Hubby refuses counselling or to acknowledge any problems with his mental health. I do my best to reassure him but he just won't open up. Can anyone suggests how I can support him?

  • Hello Wosyposy and welcome to Cancer Chat, 

    I am so sorry to hear that your husband has been feeling so down and has been depressed lately. I hope that he manages to overcome these radiotherapy side effects and maybe if these side effects are reduced he will feel a little better in himself. It might be worth talking to his medical team about the fact that he is struggling with these side effects and seeing whether they have any suggestions to alleviate them. It does sound like he is suffering from depression and that he has withdrawn into his shell which is perfectly understandable given what he is currently going through. You are doing what you can by trying to reassure him and talk to him and I am sure that he appreciates your support. 

    Our section on depression and cancer  will hopefully give you some good tips on what to do in this situation. It's great that he has been to the doctor about it and I hope that the medication the doctor has given him is proving helpful. With the right kind of treatment for depression, he will probably feel better within a few weeks. If you find that it's not making much of a difference, it may be a good idea to go back to the GP and see whether they have another treatment that would be suitable to him. There are also different ways of treating depression as mentioned on this page and perhaps you could try and see whether one of these would be best suited to your husband.

    You will also find here a very useful list of resources and organizations as well as book suggestions to help your husband cope with depression. 

    I will now let our members come and share their own experiences of supporting a loved one through depression during cancer treatment. I am sure they will have some good suggestions for you based on their personal experiences of looking after a loved one with cancer.

    I hope your husband feels better soon - both physically (and that the side effects improve) and emotionally. If you'd like to talk to one of our cancer nurses about this, don't hesitate to give them a call on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm (but closed this Monday 3rd of January)

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator