I'm very sorry to hear about your mum FJH95 and it's completely understandable why you want to know what this means.

The consultant or nurse would be the best people to ask and get clarification but if you'd like to have a quick chat with one of our cancer nurses about this then you're welcome to get in touch with them on 0808 800 4040 (Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m) or you can make a new post in their section of the forum.

I hope you're able to get some answers soon and wish you and your mum all the very best at this difficult time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi FJH95

My dad died of bladder cancer after 6 months of illness, looked after by my mum. He died in october but by that Christmas my mum was told she had incurable ovarian cancer and 4 - 9 months to live. We talked frankly about what to do (I lived 200 miles away  with my brother in Australia). She had her sister a few miles away as a support. As she had some savings I took her from the hospital to the travel agent and got her to book flights for her and her sister to Australia to see her son and family whilst she was still able. They had a great time.  Once back she came to stay with me (I worked ) for short breaks and we would go to new places around my home. The nine months stretched to twelve  before she began to deteriote and couldn't make the journey, so every Friday after work I drove up to be with her for the weekend' She sorted her paperwork but was too sick to do much.She went into a hospice for what was her last month. I would push my mum in the wheelchair round the hospice grounds just to look at nature.  My children visited her there. Her final week was just waiting time but i was lucky enough to be holding her hand as she died. 

The 4-9 months became 15 and it gave us time to enjoy one another, prepare for the inevitable, sort out the house and grieve before she died. I just wanted her to have life before death!

Talk to your mum frankly, if you can, about living whilst dying -having a time frame made us concentrate on our relationship and make the most of what was left and we were blessed with an extra 6 months. Carry on making new memories together even if she is now very ill.

It's very hard for you, especially as you are both young. Thinking of you both x