Hello wub901, 

This is so sad I am so sorry to read that things have deteriorated so quickly for your mum and she is now on end of life. I can imagine that it was really traumatic to see her on Monday. 

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone here as so many of our member will understand how you are feeling and what you are going through at the moment having been in a similar position themselves and seeing a loved one in the last days or weeks of their life. 

Our Dying with Cancer section may be of interest to you and contains useful information as well as resources and support when someone is dying. 

I will now let our other members come and say hello and share their stories with you. I just wanted you to know that we are thinking of you and your mum during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Is your mum stuck in hospital just because there's no NHS care package available for her at home? Or is there a medical reason why she has to be in a hospital?

My husband nearly got stuck in hospital a few weeks ago. When I realised that NHS weren't going to find carers any time soon, I found a private live-in carer and had my husband brought home on patient transport. It's costing £780 per week, but we don't have to worry about visiting restrictions. We actually had a very good 1.5 weeks to start, it's only now going downhill fast.

NHS has actually been quite good at providing practical equipment (bed etc.), although I also bought lots of items privately to speed things up. NHS can also set up regular visits by district nurses to provide liaison with your mum's GP or you can get a hospice referral if you think that's helpful.

Hi there

I'm in a similar position with my dad. He was diagnosed with cancer and stage 4 at the same time. They have said  my dad has weeks/months and I'm heartbroken. 
We visit and I just cry as he has deteriorated so rapidly. 

I love him so much and am really struggling 
 

I'm sorry for your loss. You are right, she is no longer in pain. 
it's the hardest thing ever. I think I'm still in shock as my dad was fine 7 weeks ago and he's been stripped of everything so suddenly.  It really hurts seeing him deteriorate and I'm scared of what's to come and the unknown 

Yes my mum was the same she did 3 weeks in hospital then came home I had  a phone call from her saying she had fallen over I went over but her friend had managed to get in and help her.

We took her in on the Tuesday the following Monday she had an operation for a stent as the previous one was blocked I visited her the Wednesday which was the last time I spoke to her.

On the Thursday I had a phone call saying they were putting her on end of life.

This Sunday just gone I had the phone saying she had passed away after my cousin decided to give them her number so they gad phoned her 1st thinking she was the next of kin.

I'm so sorry. 
So many people are going through the these horrible times. Im so scared