Dad is giving up and now refusing treatment

Hi, My dad was diagnosed with AML a few weeks ago after he was admitted to hospital for chest pain. He started chemo and was on it for 3 days but he got an infection and has rapidly deteriorated and it has had to be stopped. His kidneys have failed and we have been told the lukemia is uncurable. My dad has given up and Is now refusing all treatment as he said he doesn't want to go through it anymore. It's breaking my heart. He's my best friend and we have always been there for each other. There's no escaping the fact that he is going to die now. The doctors have had the talk with me. I'm struggling to cope with everything but I'm trying to be strong for him and my kids. I'm trying to be there for him but it's out of my hands. I need help. I don't know how I'll be able to cope without him. I'm his only child and the rest of the family (my uncles and aunty etc) live all over the country. I feel so alone. Is anyone else in the same or a similar situation? 

  • Hi Lea1306,

    I'm so sorry you are going through this pain. I know it's truly heartbreaking and frightening but stay strong for you and your dad. He will need you more than ever now. Always here to talk if you need to. It definitely helps to let it out. 

  • Hi bestrong08

    thanks for the reply. It's the hardest thing ever isn't it. 
    I'm trying to be strong but I find it so hard and breakdown when I visit. I love him so much and worry how my children will also cope as he has been such a big part of our lives 
     

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    Hi Quwaydar,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear that your dad is in thhis position too. I can appreciate why he doesn't want to take treatment and admire his strength of will in doing this. I am glad to hear that he is still eating well, not losing weight and is not in pain. If you do feel that his pain is not being controlled, please let his care team know.

    I am hoping and praying for you and your family.  Please keep us updated. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine 

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    HI Lea,

    I am sorry to hear that you find yourself in this unenviable position too. Faced with difficult situations like this we all somehow or other get the strength to see this through. Just be there for your dad as often as you can. Ensure that he is as confortable as possible and that any pain he has is being well controlled.Talk to your dad and don't leave anything left unsaid.

    Some of the cancer charities provide advice booklets on how to break the news of a death to children, which are very useful.

    I am thinking of you and your family at this sad time. Please keep in touch. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Thank you so much
    he is still doing fine nothing has changed 'he does his daily routine as usual....  he lives with my mother and my 3 siblings' they all grown up' they do for him everything ... I do visit every morning and evening' he talks a lot and go out a lot with my mother ' my brother or me ' 

    he had his vaccinations' and he my visit his siblings ' that's what he likes to do now ' 

    It's hard for everyone in my family but what can we do ! 

    I'll keep update ..... thank you so much
     

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    Hi Quwaydar,

    I know just how hard this is, but try to be strong for your dad. Treasure every moment you have with him. Make memories where you can. He is happy in the bosom of his family. Let him know how loved he is and just be there for him.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine