Hello BootButtons123, 

Welcome to Cancer Chat! I am so sorry to hear about your godmother it's really sad that she is dying and hasn't eaten for over a week now. You seem to have a very special bond with your godparents and I can understand why you feel so powerless and you would like to be able to help in any way. Unfortunately sadly, there isn't much you can do at the moment except for showing them that you are thinking of them. Perhaps you could get in touch with your godfather and ask whether there is anything he needs at the moment, even if it is a bit of shopping or anything if he lives nearby?  Or you could just send them a note if you don't want to disturb them by phone and say you are thinking of them and that if there is anything you can help with during this difficult time that they don't hesitate to get in touch with you. 

I will now let our members come and say hello and share their tips with you based on their own personal experiences. I hope you won't mind but I have slightly edited the title to include more information and make it easier to sport for others who have been in a similar position before. 

We're thinking of you, your poor godmother and her husband during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hiya Lucie!

Thank you for your reply! :happy: that's absolutely fine about the title :happy:

Sadly, she passed away yesterday :-(  but at least she's no longer in any pain :-( 

Thank you for your advice; they live right next door to my mum, so we're going to pop round later this afternoon, so I'll see if my godfather needs any help with anything (shopping etc).

Thanks again xx

Hi Boots Buttons.

I'm really sorry for your loss, it will be a really difficult time.

I remember when my father in law passed away. My mother in law didn't know what she needed and in the first few weeks had lots of people popping in with "let me know if you need anything" but she felt numb and didn't reach out immediately and didn't really know what to ask for. After the funeral and first few weeks lots of visits dropped away and she was more lonely.

She said there was one of her friends that dropped by with different things which were regular and slowly she was very appreciate of their perseverance to connect. Sometimes it was a freezer meal, or some cookies. One time a newspaper which gave an hour or so distraction that afternoon. The "what" doesn't matter as much as the thought and connection. Just be patient and don't worry about saying the wrong thing, so long as your well intentioned you're doing good xx

Hi BootButtons,

I am so sorry to hear about your Godmother's passing and offer my sincere condolences. Did she and her husband have any family? If not, a helping hand in arranging the funeral or helping with her estate may be appreciated.  Even helping by finding suitable hymns, songs, readings or photographs can be a big thing at this time. Does her husband need any help to tidy the house, if he's likely to have visitors in the coming weeks? The occasional home cooked meal or some home baking popped through the door or even getting some laundry washed and ironed can be a big help. 

Think of all the practical things that need to be done without encroaching on her own family's assistance. You will find that there are a number of things you can do.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this sad time.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx