Hi [@Penny1974]‍ 

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, and my heart goes out to you and all your family. I should imagine you are in a complete state of shock, disbelief and sadness at the moment. My mum died in March, 5 weeks after diagnosis, so my only advice to you is to try to be strong for your mum and cherish every moment you have. My one regret when mum died was that I didn't get to say all the things I wanted to to her.

Sorry I can't be of more help, but I'm sure others here will help you.

Hugs

May I ask what cancer it was that so cruelly took you're mother away x

Hi [@Penny1974]‍ 

Yes. It was pancreatic which is sadly one of the most fatal cancers. 

I'm in a similar situation. My mum was diagnosed with melanoma just before Christmas last year. She had some treatment but it was unsuccessful. She has been put on the palliative care pathway and was given 3-6months. We are now at 5 months and she is deteriorating. I feel so lost, I am struggling with day to day things and feel like I can't cope with everything. I am trying to go and see her as much as I can (I have a 3 and 4 year old) but every time my dad rings I am just expecting the news. I guess I just wanted to let you know you are not alone x 

Hello, I've only just joined as also finding it really hard at the moment. I'm so sorry to read about your mom.

My mom would be 70 in February, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 2 months ago and given a couple months. She has gone so frail and also hardly eating now.  I'm trying to carry on but this week has been tough.

Have you got family around you? I have 2 brothers, 1 has been great but my other is finding it hard and lives about an hour away. My dad is finding it really hard.  Each morning it hits me all over again and it takes all my energy to get up. 

Stay strong for your mom, all we can do is be there for what ever they need.

Sending lots of love xx

Hi Penny1974 Trying to stay strong but allowing myself to crumble when a wave of grief hits. It's hard not being able to be there for whatever mum needs because of other responsibilities but I know she fully understands and accepts. She is getting fantastic care at a facility she really deserves. 

Yes, the decline is so quick and cruel with stage 4 Pancreatic isn't it? Me and my two brothers also found out through her CT scan results after mum's admission to hospital with acute abdominal pain 2 months ago. It's all through her bones, she can't talk do anything for herself anymore. It's taken away everything from her and our hearts are in shreds.

In the mornings I wake at the crack of dawn and can't sleep because of the anticipation of 'the phone call' as she really is so weak and poorly now and I've got this strange idea that it will be first thing in the morning when she'll slip away. Don't know why, it might be because that's how dad went years back.

I know I'll cope but I just have no idea how. You will too in your own way.  I think...trying to live in the now, the very present is all we can do.

Love and peace to you and yours,

xxx