Hi [@Mysticx]‍ 

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about your Mum's diagnosis.

I lost my Mum on 15th May after a very short battle with advanced lung cancer. We were really close and I miss her so much. I'm really struggling to cope and that's why I've found myself here talking to others in similar positions.

I'm 32 and lost my Dad 17 years ago. Since then I've suffered on and off with anxiety and depression. Prior to my Mum's diagnosis and death my mental health had been really good for a long time, which makes losing her so suddenly and going through all this grief feels doubly unfair.

Some people on here have recommended bereavement counselling which I'm going to try as I really can't bear the thought of feeling this sad and anxious. I know my Mum would have hated that and I want to live my life for her.

I just wanted to say I can empathise with how you feel right now. Keeping talking and I'm here to chat if you want to.

Thinking of you and your family,

J

So sorry for your losses

the pain and sadness is so unbearable right now I feel totally in shock I just can't imagine a life like this every single day it just feels so unfair can't see anything making me happy again

quite similar mental health was doing bit better before this news

Good luck with bereavement counselling please let me know how it goes 

thank tou

x

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum’s diagnosis. My Mum has been diagnosed with advanced bladder cancer that has spread to her lung and lymph nodes. We found out last week that it is incurable and at times I’ve been struggling to cope. Mum and I are incredibly close and I just cant bear the thought or her not being in my life.  I am my Mums sole carer and until now I’ve managed to care for her by myself and have coped fine. However I accept that I now need help and am starting to get that. My Mums health was poor before her diagnosis but caring for her has become more difficult as she has mobility issues and incontinence problems. You mentioned that you find out shortly how long your Mum has to live. Did you ask to be told this information? We haven’t been told anything regarding how long Mum has but I feel like her situation is very advanced as she is sleeping most of the day, sometimes we cannot get any conversation from her and sometimes she is quite confused. Although there’s part of me that is terrified to know how long she has, there is another part that thinks maybe we should know so that we can be prepared (or as prepared as you can be). 

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation, I feel sorry for our mums so much wish we could take their place and pain away life is just so unfair!!!!

we find out tomorrow mum has asked for this information as we all need to be prepared the thought of it being random is too overwhelming and think would cause my gran to have a heart attack, have you asked not to be told this?? 

It is the hardest caring for them and seeing them in this state knowing how they were before this evil disease, do you find other people expect you to be able to hold it together more than you are?

i don't want to live without my mum

We haven’t been given the option to find out how long Mum has. I’m not sure why.

Honestly, I’ve shut must people out because I can’t bear talking about it. I have my fiancé to talk to about things if I really need to but its difficult because I am living with mum to care for her and don’t want her to see me upset so it’s easier to not talk about it.

I’m the same as you. I see my mum every day and there’s going to be a huge hole in my life when she’s no longer in it. She’s my best friend and I always look to her for advice. My dad passed away ten years ago very suddenly and I will not have any family after she’s gone. That really scares me being left on my own. 

Not sure why either? 
 

feel exactly the same no one understands a mother daughter relationship unless you are in one

everything people are trying to console me is upsetting me more because they simply can't comprehend my pain 

Do you have dark thoughts? I'm so scared for my future having already mental health issues

life is just really strange and so unpredictable 

Mum is extremely weak and frail. She gets very tearful during appointment with her consultant and oncologist. I wonder if maybe they feel like she’s too frail and anxious to be told? 

I think people don’t need know how to react in situations like this and they say what they think is the “right thing”. But it’s often not as there’s nothing anyone’s can say to make you feel any better.  That’s why I have shut people out because I can’t bare the questions etc. 

I don’t have dark thoughts... I just get really panicky and worried. This will be a really challenging time for you given your mental health history. Please look after yourself and I hope you have a good support network in place to help you through and dark moments.

Hi [@NST123]‍ 

I can really relate to what you have written here and I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

My Mum passed away from advanced lung cancer on 15h May and I find myself shutting more and more people out. My Dad also passed away 17 years ago so that's both my parents gone now and it is an incredibly lonely and isolating feeling. I have a sister close by but she has her own young family to worry about. Like you, I have my partner to speak to about things but I don't feel like anyone in my life truly gets how it feels.

I'm really trying to treaure all the people I have in my life right now who I know want to help but it is frustarting when I feel they are being insensitive or are doing or saying all the "wrong" things. That's why I find myself on this forum most days speaking to others who do know how I'm feeling and how very lonely it can feel to lose or be losing someone you hold so dear.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, as that has been a great comfort to me in recent weeks. It's sad that we've all found our way here because of cruel and unfair circumstances we can do nothing about but we're all doing the best we can to lend and ear and provide support through this. I'm here if you ever want to chat more.

Take good care,

J

I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. Life can be so unfair. It’s definitely comforting to know that i’m not alone. I was in two minds about joining this forum today but I’m so glad I did. Take care x

i just seen this i'm so sorry for you hunny xxx