Hi Doneoo,

A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm so sorry to hear why you are here. We had a similar situation with my in-laws a couple of years ago. My father-in-law was 97 and my mother-in-law 94. He struggled to care for her for 7 years when she was bed bound due to vascular dementia. Eventually, we had to insist on additional help, which he was reluctant to have, but this gave him more quality time to share with his wife, instead of constantly looking to her needs. I must say that he found that having carers in was an invasion of their privacy, but the service they offered was invaluable.

My own mum had breast cancer which spread to her liver, lungs, bone and brain and her prognosis was very poor at that stage. She did however hang on for nearly 4 months. Doctors cannot predict all that accurately how long patients will live. At best it is a 'guesstimate' and many people live way longer than their pedicted time whilst others pass much sooner. With my father-in-law we were told that he had weeks, but he died within 5 days of his cancer diagnosis.

Don't feel guilty in saying what you feel. It would all be so much easier if we had a definite time frame. I expect that your dad may have rallied since he was discharged from hospital, as we all feel better at home. This is a lot for your mum to cope with, as I expect that she is around the same age as your dad. Will she accept help from family members or is she doing everything herself? Try to make the most of the time you have left with your dad and don't leave anything left unsaid.

I am thinking of you all and sincerely hope that your dad has a peaceful passing.

Please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx