Hi Simon,

Yes you do seem to get much milder weather down south. We seem to have a constant battle to keep plants alive up here. What with the clay soil and the cold weather, it's not an easy task!

Do you have any interests that might help you to get out a bit more? Sometimes, doing something you enjoy is the best way to take you away from your old habits of sitting at home. We could certainly do with a house with a smaller garden. We could cope with the house if the garden wasn't so big. We've lived here for almost 40 years, so it's a thought to move.

I am sorry to hear that you found Easter a hard time. It is strange how holidays that you never really noted before still pose a challenge. Still, you have got through that first year of anniversaries and holidays and, things should gradually become easier to cope with year by year.

We had a lovely spell of weather in February, which was most unusual. However it made up for this in March and April, with several snow showers. This weekend was quite mild, so I took advantage of it and did some gardening. I got lots of seedlings potted on and put down some manure and top soil. I also attacked some of the moss, which has taken over with the mild windter - that's one thing that is helped by the frost!

Let's hope that spring is here to stay now! Take care Simon.

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, ah yes Scotland does have a reputation for being a bit cold! I can imagine it's difficult to keep things growing. If your garden is big it must take a lot of maintenances it sounds like you have been there a long time though, it's hard to move once you are so settled in somewhere. 

I do try and get out as much as possible even if it's just the garden for fresh air. Our garden is pretty much concrete so no real chance of growing anything but I could definitely put plant pots there! I try and get out to the shops when I can, it's not for long but it does take your mind off things as you said. I definitely need to get out of the 4 walls, it can drive you stir crazy sitting in all the time! 

Thank you Jolamine, yes I was surprised too. A holiday I didn't even think about turned out to be really difficulty I give up predicting now because you never know how you will feel till you get there. Yes it's 1 year next month. I can't really believe that time has passed, it sometimes feels like years ago and other times like last week. It's very strange. 
It's been quite nice recently hasn't it! I think that makes you want to go out more even it's a bit warmer. You sound like you are a dab hand at gardening Jolamine! I can see why people do it, it keeps you busy and gives you a purpose to go out. I do know about the moss! We have a little garden at the front and there the annoying stuff that gets everywhere isn't it! At least the cold weather is good for something then! Hopefully Jolamine, the weather stays nice for us both! I hope your son is doing ok. You take care Jolamine. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

We’ve lived in this house for 40+ years and brought our children up here, so there’s a lot of memories attached. The garden does take a lot of maintenance, as does our home, which was built in 1920. My greenhouse was full to over-flowing, so we bought a new temporary shelved greenhouse to store some of our plants in, until they can be planted out in June – we can still get frost up to the end of May, so it’s pointless planting them out before then.

Even if your garden is all cement, you could still brighten up the area with some nice colourful flowers in containers. My garden is a mixture of grass, concrete slabs and tarmac. I have over 100 planters placed on the concrete and tarmac surfaces to make it look less forlorn. Many of these are old car tyres which we have re-purposed as planters.

As we’ve said before, grief can hit us at the most surprising time and take us totally unaware. It is hard to believe that it is almost a year now, but at times it can still feel as raw as if it was last week.

My son is still waiting to have another injection into his neck, prior to any decision on more surgery being made. There’s still no word of when he’ll get it, so we’ll just have to be patient. I am certainly not a dab hand at gardening Simon. The large garden was great for the children to play in when they were small, but now that they’ve flown the nest, we have to try and keep it looking tidy. However, with neither of us in particularly good health, this is getting harder. However, I do like to see it full of beautiful scented flowers. We also grow tomatoes, rhubarb, apples, parsley, chives and quince. It is lovely to have these fresh throughout the season and the flavours are so much better than shop bought – it certainly does give us a purpose to get out though.

How is your dad keeping now? Is he still allowing the carers to come in and, is he any happier with them now?

I hope that you are feeling a little better again now Simon, although I appreciate that you have another ‘special’ date looming on the horizon.

I shall be thinking of you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Simon,

This has been a happy home and there are a lot of good memories here for all of us. It is a lovely solidly built bungalow, which is ideal for us both now that stairs are a problem. However, half an acre is just too much for me to take care of now, especially when it comes to lifting heavy objects, bending down to lift weeds and digging with two artificial knees. As well as the garden, I have over 100 large containers dotted around and I try to keep these as colourful as I can throughout the different seasons. I have taken to growing a lot from seed this year to try and reduce costs, now that I have retired and have more time on my hands. Unfortunately, we can still get frost here until the end of May, so I need to protect my plants, until I plant them out in June. At this time of year, everything has to be ready to go out at the same time, so plants do build up in the greenhouse. I have also been fortunate enough to have received a number of beautiful perennial plants as retirement presents from patients, colleagues and staff, so I have more than my usual share to contend with this year. People have been so incredibly generous. This morning I woke up to find a beautiful standard lavender bush at my front door from a grateful patient.

We enjoy having some nice tasty fresh food to hand too. Hubby never liked tomatoes prior to growing our own - now he just can't get enough of them. Having a couple of pots to tend to would certainly give you an interest and get you out from the house without having to travel too far. I am glad to hear that your dad is doing ok and has accepted his carers. i expect that soting his own food gives him something to occupy his time and allows him to eat things of his choice, rather than being given a plate of food that he probably doesn't feel like.  As you said, it's up to him how well he eats now.

It is very strange how the concept of time changes. You do lose track of all time. You are right not to dwell on te anniversary. It will be just another of many tough days, but you have got through them before and you will get through this too.

I shall be thinking of you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, I hope you are enjoying the bank holiday weekend! Your home sounds really nice, I always liked the idea of a bungalow when I get a little older. It does sound large though, I can understand why it is too much for you. It must be lovely to have the room yet hard to maintain it all! It sounds like you have a very nice garden! Did you Jolamine, that's really nice. If you are getting presents from patients you will have a lot of plants! It must be really nice to get them though. Ah yes with retirement I imagine you do receive a lot of presents and gifts, it must still feel strange for you at the moment having all this free time. 
 

I totally agree Jolamine, nothing like fresh food! I should really try, it wouldn't be too difficult for me to have a few pots like you said. It's a medium sized garden so there is room, it doesn't get a lot of sun but there is some up till the afternoon if we are lucky enough with the weather! It would definitely get me out of the house without being too much trouble.

Yes he is managing ok thankyou. I think you are right about the food, he does want to do it himself just because he wants to eat at his own time and have independence. He has stopped fighting against the Carer's which is the main thing. 
 

It really is strange Jolamine, some days just feel like nothing days. You tend to wake up and think what day is today, very strange! Months come and go and you don't even realise. Thank you Jolamine, that means a lot to me. I hope your son and all your family are doing ok. You take care. x

Simon

Hi Simon,

The bungalow is not that big and it is ideal for us both, now that we are older. It's just the size of the garden. A lot of my patients have been coming to me for 50 years, as have successive generations of their families. I have found it really touching that so many have brought me gifts along with some very touching letters.

Tending to a few pots would definitely get you out of the house. You'd need to choose the right plants to suit your local conditions.

I am glad to hear that your dad has stopped fighting against his carers and, I'm sure that it does him good to cater for himself when and as he wants to. Do you cook for yourself too Simon?

I know what you meant about one day melding into another. it seems strange having worked to appointments for 50 years, to suddenly find myself wondering what day it is.

Take care.

Jolamine x

Hi Jolamine, ah I understand. The house is a nice size but the garden is too big! You must have seen a lot of patients in that time. That is really nice that they brought you presents and gifts. I'm sure you deserved it! You are a really nice person Jolamine so I'm not surprised at all!

It would definitely, I have learnt a bit with planting the small garden for my mum. I didn't know anything but my sister has shown me a few bits. It's definitely something I could look into doing. Our weather isn't great, not much sunshine but isn't it always like that! We seem to have it a little milder than yourself but not as warm as down south. It's sort of in between really. 
 

It is good that my dads sorting his own thing. He did have to go in hospital for a couple of days. He was sleeping a lot and they found out that his blood levels were low so they gave him a transfusion. They need to find out where he is losing blood from so have done more tests to see. They did a scan of his chest and found a mass. They aren't sure yet but I believe they think it may be cancer. We are waiting results of his PET scan. It has all happened really fast. 

I don't really cook Jolamine, that's another thing I need to try and do more off. I mostly just hear things up! My mum showed me bits to get by but I'm still a bit of a novice in the kitchen! I know it's easier to learn these days with YouTube and everything. 
 

it is Jolamine, very strange. I can imagine it's doubly hard for you, after that length of time you must have been so used to being busy all the time. I'm sure you will enjoy the rest but I'm guessing it feels strange at the moment! I hope all is well with you Jolamine. You take care. x

Simon

Hi Simon,

Yes, I have seen a lot of patients over the past 50 years, but I never expected that so many people would be so generous when I finished up. It has been really overwhelming. Like cooking, you can also learn about gardening on the internet or You Tube and, I'm sure that your sister would keep you right.

I am so sorry to hear about your dad's hospital stay and the finding of his scan. Have they told him when the results of his PET scan will be back? I am really sorry to hear that you are going through all of this again. 

I have so much to do in the house and the garden since I retired that I am still busy, but I miss the contact with patients and feeling that I can help them.  Still, all is going well and I'll get used to it in time.. We are just about to start hubby on a new medication for his diabetes, as it is supposed to help his heart too. Unfortunatey, this can cause hypos, so we'll have to monitor how he gets on.

Please let me know how your dad gets on. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, I can only imagine how many patients you have seen over that time! That is really nice that so many people brought you gifts. You are right Jolamine, you can learn pretty much anything over the internet these days! My sister does give me pointers aswell with bits. I was pulling the weeds out of my mums little garden and I wasn't sure which ones to pull but my sister showed me which ones so I have been learning bits and pieces

Thanks Jolamine, yes I was a bit surprised too. They haven't given the results of the scan yet but they did send a letter saying they suspect it's cancer so I think they must be pretty sure to send that letter. I think we will find out shortly as the results are due. I will let you know, thank you Jolamine.

I totally understand, it must be very different for you. You are busy but not in the way you used to be. I imagine it must be difficult after having the much contact with people over the years. I guess over time you will get used to it a bit more. Ah I hope it goes well for him. My dad has diabetes too, you have to be really careful with those hypos don't you. There's been lots of times he's had to eat a mars bar quickly to get his sugar back up! I hope it works well for your husband. 

I will off course let you know how my dad goes on Jolamine, thank you. You take care. x

Simon