Mum has terminal lung cancer

Hi everyone, this is my first post here. Not something I wanted to do but this is where I am. My mum was diagnosed with Lung Cancer back in January. She has always been super fit before that. The only sig. We had was she coughed up a little blood and then things snowballed from there. It turned out she had Metastatic Kidney Cancer and now Some small tumours in the brain. She has been managing ok but things seem to be getting worse. She had Srs radiotherapy for her brain mets and that seemed to go ok. We are about 1 and a half weeks later now and she is really struggling. Constantly tired and struggling to get around like she did. She says she's constantly tired and has a lot of aching on her right hand side.

She's not in any pain now we got the medication sorted but I'm constantly worried. I'm hoping she will pick back up again. She had a patch before where she was constantly tired and she came back round to be more active. I'm worried out of my mind that she will keep declining. Could this tiredness be down to the brain radiotherapy. She seemed ok when she had it but she was on steroids. The doctor said 6-9 months then 9-12 if they can get control of the cancer. She is supposed to be having radiotherapy for her lung but I'm not sure what will happen with her feeling weaker. She wasn't so bad only a few days ago and now she is very tired again. I just don't know how to cope with losing my mum. She's my life and I will be lost without her. I've been living with her at home for the past 18 years due to my own illness. We are so close and it feels like my world is falling apart. I know other people go through this but I am struggling. This is the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Muly mum is 65, she still feels so young to me. Thank you for reading. 

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  • Hi,my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer just over 18months ago, she also has it in her lymph nodes and rib,she has had immunotherapy and radiation therapy,she seemed to pic up a little bit,but now she is in a lot of pain and lost loads of weight, last few days she has spent most of it in bed, she in 40 mg morphine twice a day plus the liquid when needed, the consultant said he is considering cemo but thinks the side effects would be too much, can anyone tell me if this could be the end or could she pic up again,im at a loss as to what to expect 

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    Hi Loo,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Unfortunately, it is impossible to say how close she is to the end. You will usually find that people stop eating and drinking towards the end and tend to sleep most of the time. It is heart breaking to watch a loved one slowly deteriorate and to feel powerless to help. Do you have carers or nurses coming in to help out with your mum's care? 

    If your mum is in a lot of pain still, please mention this to her nurse, as this should be controlled. Her nurse should also be able to give you some indication of how close the end is. We talk about cancer as a rollercoaster, because we can be down one minute and pick up the next.

    There have been many cases where people have failed dramatically, but still manage to hang on for quite some time. Chemo can take a lot out of someone and would probably only extend her life for a short while. If she is too frail and her consultant feels that this would be too much for her, he is probably right. We all want to hold on to our loved ones for as long as possible, but sometimes extending a life with no quality, is only prolonging the agony.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

Reply
  •  

    Hi Loo,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Unfortunately, it is impossible to say how close she is to the end. You will usually find that people stop eating and drinking towards the end and tend to sleep most of the time. It is heart breaking to watch a loved one slowly deteriorate and to feel powerless to help. Do you have carers or nurses coming in to help out with your mum's care? 

    If your mum is in a lot of pain still, please mention this to her nurse, as this should be controlled. Her nurse should also be able to give you some indication of how close the end is. We talk about cancer as a rollercoaster, because we can be down one minute and pick up the next.

    There have been many cases where people have failed dramatically, but still manage to hang on for quite some time. Chemo can take a lot out of someone and would probably only extend her life for a short while. If she is too frail and her consultant feels that this would be too much for her, he is probably right. We all want to hold on to our loved ones for as long as possible, but sometimes extending a life with no quality, is only prolonging the agony.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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