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Mom dying of cancer

loszka7
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I already posted here last week, but I feel like I need to talk again. I'm 23 and my mom is dying of cancer.

Me, dad and sister and doctors think these are her last days, but since last week nothing much changed. She's sleeping all day, barely drinking, not eating and at this point which is painful- not recognizing us. 

Quite honestly, the waiting is horrible. I wish it was over already. I love my mom and I wish I could have her here longer. But I'm checking every minute to see if she's still alive or not. I can't stand the waiting. I'm glad that at least she has a good painkillers, but the waiting is awful.

She was diagnosed in January so this all is still a shock for me. I sometimes wonder if I'm dreaming? She's been in this kind of coma state since last week. One day I'm okay, the other I can't stop crying. I feel like I'm living a nightmare.

  • Hello Loszka7

    I'm sorry to hear that things remain much the same with your Mum.

    I'm sure it's a comfort that she's not in pain but I think many members here will understand that you don't you don't want her or the rest of the family to suffer. 

    Know that our thoughts are with you and you can post here on the forum anytime if it helps to offload your thoughts and feelings. 

    Take care. 

    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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    Hi Loszka, I am also in the same boat as you. My mum had metastatic breat cancer which we thought was controlled until 2 months ago she found it had spread to her lungs and bone marrow and we were told there was nothing more the dcotors could do. We have been heartbroken as a family and she has slowly been deteriorating during that time. I am beyond devasted as my mum was the center of my world. I used to call her every day with my kids and she loved being a grandmother so much. 

    She has slowly been getting worse each week and now she can barely walk and struggles to breathe. She has lost so much weight and is also sleeping most of the day. Like you some days I am ok and other days I keep bursting into tears. I am trying to see her as much as I can which is difficult as I live in London and she in Birmingham. My poor mum is only 64 which also feels too young. I so dearly wanted my children to have a grandmother but now they won't which breaks mine and her heart. 

    I don't know what to do really, I just keep going each day for my kids and try to stay strong. I keep wondering what stage is next, I don't want her to suffer and I desperatly don't want to lose her. But I know she doesn't want this to drag out- which feels horrible saying it. 

    I keep coming to these pages hoping to find some comfort. I guess just wanted to say that you are not alone. This is the hardest thing we have ever gone through as a family x

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