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BRCA1 uncle dying

Cryptogirl
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My uncle is dying from Osophagal cancer. He is at end stage and wanted to die at home as he didn't want to be in hospital on his own due to COVID. He lives abroad but my cousin is keeping in touch with me via WhatsApp. All of us have the BRCA1 gene but I don't think his cancer was caused by the gene, he was just unlucky (and he used to smoke heavily). Anyway, my cousin said he is sleeping a lot and sometimes when he wakes up he's coherent and you can converse with him but other times he's sort of in a daze. I don't want to ask my cousin this as it may be hard for her but does this sound like he's only got days left or could it be longer? I am so upset as all my mums side of family has died of cancer. My cousin has currently got breast cancer too. It's so tragic 

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Cryptogirl although I'm very sorry to read about your uncle and cousin. It sounds very tough and no doubt very challenging for you all.

    Unfortunately no-one here can say how long your uncle may have left but you can get a general idea of the signs and changes to look out for when that time is drawing near just here. It can be a difficult read but I hope it can give you an idea of what stage your uncle may be at.

    Hopefully some of our members will offer their support and advice to you soon but if you'd like to talk things through with our cancer nurses, you can contact them on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    Best wishes to you all, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Steph

    Thanks. He died yesterday morning. My cousin told me right away. My heart is breaking. She said she held his hand and he said he was cold so she snuggled with him under the covers and gave him a teaspoon of warm tea. She said his breathing was raspy and as she walked across the room she heard his last breath and then there was silence.

    is it possible to be conscious right until the very end?

    I feel robbed again of another family member. He was such a wonderful uncle and dad to my cousins. I can't believe he's gone. 
    You know....from the moment we're born, we're all dying. And for most of us it's like some silent digital watch that we never really look at. But for ME for people like me it's a loud ticking clock reminding us not to waste one precious moment that's left.

  • in reply to Cryptogirl

    I'm so sorry Cryptogirl.

    As the body begins the process of slowing down all its functions a person will go through a lot of physical changes. It can vary from person to person but it can include loss of consciousness. This page on our website goes in to more detail but it's completely understandable if you don't want to read it at this time.

    If you feel it would help you're very welcome to talk this through with our cancer nurses (their number is in my previous reply) but in the meantime, we're all thinking of you and sending big virtual hugs your way.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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