Hi 

I've only seen this post and not your previous posts, but it sounds like we've been in similar situations so I hope I can help. My dad was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer on the 11th Feb, he was given "months" to live and he died on 29th March. I would say that if you can think of anything you'd like to say then do it, maybe write it down in a letter and read it if that's easier. However if that is too painful then please don't worry. I tried to tell my dad how I felt about him and share memories, but I found the shock of his quick decline and the grief made it really hard for me to find the words to say. In the end I just sat in his company and held his hand, it was all I could do. I think our loved ones do know how we feel, just as you know how they feel about you. Now that he's gone, I am flooded with things that I wish I could have said but I know at the time I just couldn't. I'm planning to write him a letter to put in his coffin. Don't be scared or upset that this is a difficult situation for you to face - just accept it if you can. Talking doesn't come easy for everyone and you are going to have to pick yourself up and carry on after this, so it's not a bad thing to have some methods for self-preservation. I live quite far from my dad so sometimes I just imagine that he is still here, I think that's ok. I did go and see him after he died and that really helped me, as I realised there's so much more that skin and bone that makes you alive. I'm not religious but it really did hit me that his spirit, his essence, was gone, and seeing him helped me to process that. And I then found it easier then to talk about him with my other family members there - sharing memories together was easier than trying to remember them alone.

Don't put pressure on yourself to be there when he passes. You have no way of knowing when that will be, and I don't think it's a good idea to be there all the time - you'll exhaust yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. Also it can be quite distressing when someone dies, it's like they have a final fight, and become agitated before they go. That can be hard to see. But it is ultimately out of your control - I know it sounds mad but your dad might chose to go when you're not there. Don't be mad if that happens. My brother was with my dad constantly at the end, he nipped out for 5 mins and that's when my dad died, he was just with my mum. It was like he planned it that way. So don't put pressure on yourself, carry on doing what you've been doing, and whether you're there or not when he passes, that's ok. 

I hope this helps. Sending you strength at this time. 
 

Aw firstly want to express my sorrow for you losing your Dad to this treadful disease. It's will be 5 years on July 1st since losing my Dad to a aggressive brain tumour and it's still as raw today as ever. 
 

In my experience I to have lots to talk to Dad about setting things straight and putting issues to bed but in the end with his diagnosis and the doctors giving him 4 weeks to live with no

chance of treatment, it really didn't matter in the end. He knew what we both wanted to say and we let it be. I had a 5 month old at the time and spending time bringing him and keeping Dad calm was ultimately what was important. Personally I felt if I pushed my need to talk on him at this time, It would have been selfish as he wasn't coping with everything as it was. You and your Dad may be different but you just need to gauge the situation. 
 

in terms of being there when your Dad passes. You can't really plan that in so much detail only if you want to be there or not! My Dad had just arrived back from Hospital and deteriorated quickly.  He was at hone and the paramedics administered his end of life meds (at the time I just thought this was meds to keep him calm) like I say it was so quick from Diagnosis to death, we didn't know our *** from our elbow. We were all there and he passed around 2am weirdly when everyone left to get a drink leaving my niece in the room. She shouted and we ran in to find he was shallow breathing. We all gave him a kiss and he took

his final breath without a fight. This was mainly due to the amount of drugs to sedate I think  

if it helps I wouldn't have it any other way even after a long recovery from grief and what I experienced  

hope this helps?

hope this helps?!