Anna21, I'm so, so sorry you're having to go through all this stress, especially with everything else you're having to cope with. Have the doctors not explained in detail, how bad your cancer is? It may be that it has spread to other parts of your body, this is why palliative care chemo has been mentioned. My brother was diagnosed December 2020 with acute myeloid luekemia. He was told that even if he were given aggresive chemo...he would only survive a few months. He was given the option to receive palliative chemo, he decided to have it. He was in hospital for 6 weeks, and was very, very ill. He had a fungal lung infection, couldn't eat or drink properly. He wanted to go into the hospice to die, as he had had enough! He lost 2 stone in weight the whole time he was in hospital. His cancer cells have now gone from 55% to 15%, so they started him on phase 2 of the chemo. His white blood cells are at zero, which isn't good. He managed a walk today, but has good/bad days. What I'm basically saying is "the palliative chemo has prolonged his life" He has been told he could have another 6/9 months...and apart from feeling tired all the time, he's not suffering. I think you should demand the palliative chemo, it will at least help you through the cancer, and make the remainder of your time...more bearable. x