I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I am facing similar at the moment with my dad. We’ve been told he has weeks left. He is in a hospice and although visiting rules are stricter than usual, they have been accommodating and understanding about us going to see him. Could you ring the hospice and check the rules before you travel? 

It is a truly horrible thing that we’re both facing. Sending strength to you. 

Thank you so much for replying x I think I'll move home for a while to help my family and see what happens with the hospice (if she ends up in one). Sending love to you and your family x 

Hi Amy,

I saw your message on my post so just though I'd reply here. 

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum. It's such a horrible thing to deal with for you and your family. 

Like you, my mum was 59 when she died at the beginning of December. I'm 25 and never expected her to be gone this early in my life. My dad is 66 so to be honest, we were always more worried about him!

It must be very difficult for you being away from home, I was lucky enough to be living at home throughout lockdown. What I would say is do as many facetimes/zooms/calls with her as both you and her can. I know it's not nice to think about but try and record these so that after she's gone you have memories of her voice. That is one thing I really wish I had more of now, I took a few short voice recordings but honestly not enough. 

I have sent you a request on here if you'd like to send me a private message. I also have the instagram details of a girl from this forum who has set up a group. I can send it on to you! 

Sometimes it can feel very lonely when you don't know anyone else with a termailly ill parent so just know that although our experiences are different I can understand what you're going through.

Take care x 

Hi Amy,

That's so awful about your mum, I'm sorry to hear about her diagnosis. It's such a shock when someone is diagnosed, let alone when it's terminal. It's impossible to get your head around it.

We are in a similar situation with my mum. She had breast cancer and a neuroendocrine tumour but was treated for these. Now the neuroendocrine tumour has come back and spread all over her body really and it's terminal. She is just 60 too! I'm 28. She lives in the South West and I'm stuck in lockdown in London. We don't know how long she has at the moment, in the summer they're going to give us an estimate when they repeat her scans. It feels very hopeless and scary to think that one day soon she won't be here anymore.

It's great if you can go home and be with your mum. You've got to think about what's important for you. Wishing you all the best.

Hi Abbie,

So sorry to hear you're in a similar situation to me. It's so horrible and can be such an isolating experience. I really hope you can get to see her soon and that everything is okay