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About to lose my dad

Loopylol
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My wonderful dad was diagnosed with cancer of the bladder last year. We thought it would be treatable but despite having his bladder removed the cancer was aggressive and spread. Last week we found out there is nothing that can be done for him and he only has a few weeks. 

This has all happened so quickly and I’m in shock he’s only in his fifties and I’m really struggling to accept what is going to happen. He is in a hospice where he will be comfortable but I still can’t ever see a way forward where life feels complete or happy ever again. I have dealt with loss before but this feels particularly brutal as he is so young and full of life. I’m so worried about my children and my mum. I’m trying to stay strong for them while dealing with my own grief. To make matters worse I can’t even visit due to covid restrictions. 

I am utterly heartbroken and just looking for some wise words or comfort from people who might have been through similar. 

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    hi Loopylol,

    this breaks my heart to see, i went through this exact same thing just a month ago i lost my lovely dad. its still so painful and raw but all you can do is keep pushing. dont be afraid of the pain, after all, grief is the price we pay for love. tell him everything you need to tell him, but im sure he already knows you love him. grief isnt the end, you and your family will get through this xx

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    I'm so sorry. I went through similar in December and lost my amazing dad within 4 weeks of diagnosis. He was in a hospice and we were kindly agreed visiting during the last hours of his life. I know it's not brilliant but we took comfort in knowing that we were able to say goodbye and he knew we were there. 
     

    we are 4 weeks in now and whilst it's still terrible painful and some days all I want to do is cry it has gotten better and I'm able to remember him in the way he was and not just what he was from his illness at the end. 
     

  • Offline in reply to Kimmie129

    Thank you both for replying. I’m sorry to hear about your losses too. It is some comfort to hear from people who understand what it’s like.

     I just can’t believe that soon he will be gone. He is so young and full of life. I don’t know how to prepare my 9 year old son for it as he is really close to his grandad. He knows he is very unwell but not the severity. I am battling with whether to let him visit the hospice. I think it would be upsetting for both of them (not to mention all the covid hoops to jump through) but at the same time I think it will be very confusing and distressing for grandad to just be gone one day. 

    My mum isn’t coping well. She is drinking a lot and not eating or sleeping properly. I’m terribly worried about them both while trying to manage my own grief too. 

    I feel so so heartbroken and lost. 

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